Finding Balance: Wellness for the Everyday Struggle: Toddlers, Privacy, and Menstrual Cups

CW: It's going to get real here, about real life menstruation

Here's a little more backstory to my ever-so-popular Facebook post.

Got mail with two menstrual cups after my old one died.

I can't do anything alone. Not that I'm surprised, or generally bothered by it, but it does make some things more exciting or even funny as parents.

He asks me about my every poop, and pee. We get to discuss farts and burps and when mommy is too tired.

The upsides include discussing getting hugs to help feel better, and the downsides include never getting a snack to yourself, because now both kiddos are up my butt all the time demanding anything and everything I have.

I'm also lucky enough to have gotten my menstrual cycle back early after pregnancy, even while breastfeeding exclusively.

But you know what's really fun with a toddler? Trying to discretely handle your menses.

About 6, 6.5 years ago I jumped off the disposable product bandwagon.

I've always been super active and therefore gave up on pads very early. They feel like diapers, they literally chafe up my thighs. That and their wonderful ability to let you feel the gush out, and to crumple up at the wrong moment, so they can direct that lovely gush straight off the pad.

So nope to those, except postpartum. Just no.

So I used tampons for many many years. The freedom was pretty cool, ability to swim was good, less leaking, etc. But between not wanting to flush them, but hating dealing with trying to wrap them up and dispose of in the trash, and usually having animals in the house....well, they weren't perfect. Plus they sucked to deal with for the light flow days, because they hurt to pull out on those days.

Enter, menstrual cups. The most popular known brand in the US is The Diva Cup there's some seriously hilarious reviews there. Basic idea is a little silicone vessel that literally sits inside your vagina below your cervix. It collects the flow, and you dump it out into the toilet, wash it up, and put it back in. It's not exactly that easy, there's some mess, there's a learning curve on selecting the right cup - size, shape, firmness, etc. But, it's definitely my preference. I like that it helps with smell and waste, and pain. I like not having to buy more tampons and I like that it actually holds much more than a tampon. And it stops leaks.

BUT....Legan is fascinated. Like way too much.

So he got the crash course in the female cycle. Mommy bleeds from her vagina every month when there isn't a baby in my belly/uterus. This is the special cup mommy uses to catch the blood so it doesn't make a mess in my clothes. That sort of thing. He loves helping me get a pantyliner out to use too. I use cloth ones, which makes sense to him, wearing cloth diapers and all.

Well, a couple of days after our main discussion, we were out at our new favorite indoor play place. He's running around like a maniac, so much fun. And it's warm and he's sweaty. I ask him if he's thirsty.

And...he runs up to me and lifts my shirt and starts reaching for my pants. I'm lost for a moment. I stop him but I'm just sitting there staring open-mouthed. Luckily I had told the story of explaining menstruation to Legan that morning to my friends. Who were at the play place. My one friend is standing right next to me. She laughs. She nods. She says your CUP.

Oh. OH. Oh my. I had even included in my explanation to him that it was a special cup for catching blood.

I guess I hadn't specifically stated that we didn't drink out of it originally.

His statement, and I repeat, is "Want mom's cup. Water. Cup in mom's butt, want water, please?"

So I say that now. The cup in mommy's vagina is for catching blood only. We do not drink out of that cup. There's no water in it. Would you like to go get your water cup?

Yeah. My toddler thinks that I store a drinking vessel for his pleasure. Up my ass.

So that's mom life in a nutshell. It's like living with tiny drunk hilarious tantrum throwing college kids.