Ok, well, maybe not quite ALL but most.
I know that people are inherently judge-y of anyone and everyone. The upside of this being that mots people are more critical of themselves than anyone else, however that doesn't stop the ridiculous amount of judging aimed at parents lately.
That being said, I'm guilty as well. HOWEVER, I work very hard to at least keep the judgement of others quiet - between me, myself, and occasionally my mom or husband. We also always preface our statements with something to the affect of "there's more than one way to do anything," "this isn't for me, but hey, if it works for them," or "I don't really get it, but hey, it's their thing."
It's still judging, and I'm not saying it's really OK, but for me it's more of a way to verbally talk out foreign or confusing ideas or methods.
I certainly don't go around telling moms/dads/parents that they are doing things WRONG, or acting/stating that MY WAY is the best/only option out there.
It really irks me when that happens to me.
The aggravating part? Frequently it's extended family that's doing it. Which means I know they are speaking from a good place, but honestly if anyone is being dismissive or argumentative of your parenting techniques (as long as they aren't obviously harmful) then they're not being helpful or supportive.
No one should have to deal with being shamed for anything that isn't harmful.
I have no idea why other people are so INVESTED in my methods for introducing my son to solid foods or my methods for getting him to sleep.
I am the first person to say that I make mistakes, but so does everyone. Parenthood is a life-long journey of walking a fine line between crazy, happy, sad, and angry. Your methods are designed to work for YOU and YOUR household, and that is all that matters. Just because someone else had a child once and did this one thing doesn't mean that it will work for you. Each child is different, as is each parent. Everyone has different personal limits for things and different strengths and weaknesses. It's ridiculous to assume there is one right answer for any parenting issue.
In fact, I'm so frustrated (and overtired today too) that this spawned a spin-off post - all about sleep. So go HERE to read it. Now I'm going back to my irritation at parent shaming.
Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that he will eventually sleep.
Other than trying to PROVE that you are a better parent than someone, what could the point be of telling someone else they're wrong? Again, I'm not speaking about the cases where something legitimately harmful is happening. Not putting your baby in a car seat, giving them weapons to play with, putting plastic bags on their faces, etc.
For some people, disposable diapers are really the best option - it's what they know and all they have time for, super easy, and they definitely touch less poop. Other people swear by cloth. They're cute, cozy, and save money. Breastfeeding works for some families, and it's great for mom & baby health - plus generally being cheaper and has a lot less bottle washing! Other families depend on formula - either there's no time for mom to breastfeed, she doesn't make enough, or maybe even baby prefers bottles. Some babies have so many food intolerances that formula makes it so much easier for mom to eat! Some families cosleep, some have babies in their own crib in their own room just days after birth. Great! The important part really should be doing what works for each family the best. I can't say that having baby in another room is good....for me, but if it works for you to get you all the most/best sleep you can, then I think you're doing GREAT!
Sometimes you manage your cranky evenings by wearing rainbow unicorn headbands and having a dance party on daddy's shoulders! That's OK too!
New moms, old moms, first time moms, veteran moms, plus all the dads/co-parents...being a mom/parent ISN'T easy. That being said most of the difficulties (especially with diapering/pacifiers/feeding/sleeping) WILL pass as baby grows up. Or at least change to different sorts of difficulties - hormones anyone? So you do you. This should be the motto of motherhood. You do you.
Most importantly, remember that just because some technique, schedule, method, or other trick of the trade worked for any one kid doesn't mean it will work for any other kid on the planet. I've been assured by (and witnessed this many times) that even two kids growing up in the same household, even twins born at the same time, are two SEPARATE people and may or may not respond the same way to the same plan.
I've given up most of my plans, I've given up setting a schedule, I just do my best to go with the flow. As of yet, I've not had more than maybe 4 or 5 days in a row of completely unsustainable awfulness with Legan. So I just grit my teeth and get through. It doesn't mean that the days after are AWESOME WITH UNICORNS, RAINBOWS, AND MAGIC FAIRY DUST. But it does mean that we've both adjusted to a new normal and managed to make it work well enough for us.
Drama baby gives up on people that shame his mom.
By all means, give advice. But to any parent that says "thanks but no thanks," "didn't work for us," or just "nope" please accept that. So someone is doing something different. So what?
My kid's cloth diapered ass certainly doesn't prove I'm any better or worse of a parent than you. Nor does his love of tilapia or hatred of chocolate pudding. He's awesome in his own way, and I'm doing the best I can.
Anyone who can't accept someone else's parenting methods is likely a POOPCUP, or someone whose time spent with their own little angels (aka tiny assholes) was so many years ago that their sleep deprived brain doesn't clearly remember.
Look up the POOPCUP thing, it's hilarious, and stop judging and shaming everyone. If you manage to mostly get diapers changed timely, get kids fed, have them sleep as much as you/they can, and love them - you're doing it right. Nuff said.
This dino boy is trying to flip off the camera
This happy baby knows that his mom does the best she can - so stop telling her how to be "better!"
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