It occurred to me how much easier my cloth diapering journey had become, but I know how daunting the idea of dealing with poop and cloth diapers is - so I wanted to put together a handy-dandy summary for the uninitiated.
Step 1:
Listen to baby farts/grunting.
Cringe. Actively. Hope that you had a good fold on that last diaper, because sometimes you just KNOW you didn't do a good job. Wonder if you have anymore diaper covers clean. Sigh, because you literally JUST threw in the load of diapers, so this one is going to sit for a while. All of this sighing and worrying is doubled/tripled if this happens out of the house.
Beware this face!
Step 2:
The sniff test.
'Nuff said, right? Hold baby up to your face and inhale deeply near their butt. With a mostly breastfed baby the smell isn't typically too bad yet. In fact before we started solids it was like buttered popcorn - no joke. Sometimes it still has a hint of that odor. Either way, unless it's a total gross bomb you smell a few times, and inevitably end up delicately peeking. Sigh again, yup.
Hope that there's a cute animal face to make you feel better about sniffing!
Step 3:
Wait 5 minutes.
Use this time to mentally gear up to this task. Maybe ponder where your hazmat gear is. Perhaps have some wine - whatever works for you. Everyone else thinks you are just procrastinating and putting off the inevitable, maybe regretting your diaper choices, but no. You are waiting to make sure the pooping is finished, because poops mid change totally ruin your groove.
Baby's hat and dumb face optional.
Step 4:
Prepare the area.
Soak down wipes. If you think you have enough, soak down at least 2 more. They're reusable cloth wipes for a reason - you're just going to wash them anyway. MORE WIPES! Lay down a spare diaper (not the one you intend to put on) on the changing pad, because now that he squirms BAD NEWS can happen if you haven't gotten him all wiped down when his legs escape. Open the diaper pail, set the lid on the floor next to it - all parts that are just dirty but not chunky go straight into pail. All parts that have chunks get to sit on lid to rinse before adding to pail. Roll up your sleeves. Add gloves and a gas mask if you have a weak stomach, or at pregnant. Have more wine.
The mobile still keeps him entertained sometimes!
Step 5:
Open and Initial shock
Pull off baby's pants (preferably socks too), and roll up shirt firmly to armpits, maybe higher. Gingerly open diaper. Make a disgusted shocked face. Hold feet firmly into baby's face and pray that they don't escape. SHOVE A TOY INTO THEIR HANDS. Any toy that isn't plush. RIGHT NOW! You can have wandering fingers in this mess. Wait, TAKE OFF THEIR SOCKS TOO - damn, you forgot. Place socks in diaper pail. Pull poopy diaper out ASAP before you get more poop on feet. This is why the spare diaper is down. Poopy diaper plus it's waterproof cover sits on pail lid. Use the entire pile of wipes you soaked down just to get the first layer off. Once there is no more visible poop on his butt or lower back, proceed.
I'm not posting pictures of poop. So you just imagine how this venison roast came out the other end for me, OK?
Imagine this in brown and all over the other end....it's like that.
Step 6:
Secondary baby cleaning
Inevitably after the initial wash, there's more invisible poop. Not just in the crevices, although we know it's there too, but also a thin layer everywhere on the butt that you can't see unless you apply a clean white wipe to it. So after the first round, fold the diaper under them in half so there's clean underneath, and go through 1-2 more wipes, removing the crevice and invisible poop. Then you can finally let go of the feet for a little to catch your breath. Put toy back in hands about 5011 times. Get new diaper out in this break - while we're letting baby air-dry just a little.
This is the look of cold wet wipes EVERYWHERE!
Step 7:
Cover the blaster
After a quick dry and getting new diaper set up underneath the one you used for safety, we're ready. Throw the spare diaper into pail, get new diaper on. Secure it. Secure it again because baby kicked off halfway on. Secure it again because you realize you failed and testicles are hanging out. Secure it again because you folded it too small/big/awkward. Secure it a final time and give up. Put waterproof cover over it. Get out fresh socks. If you were successful with immediate cleaning, put same clothes back on...if not, strip baby by pulling gross shirts DOWN past butt, and redress. now put baby somewhere safe and contained. If all else fails, into the dry empty bathtub.
The cuter the diaper the better!
Good use of toy here, but too much plush around him for safety while dealing with poop!
Step 8:
Deal with fallout
Now it's time to be thankful for your plumbing skills and your husband agreeing that you can have a sprayer for your diapers/poop. Carry pail and the lid (with offending diaper on it) into bathroom. RAISE LID & SEAT!!!! Put pail touching bowl of toilet. Literally. you want no drippage here. Now if you're fancy, you have a super cool fancy shield but if not, that's cool. Just put diaper into toilet bowl. I do once piece at a time, but whatever works for you. Turn on the sprayer valve. Put on your safety glasses and drop cloths! Aim at the diaper and spray away all the POO!!!! Pretend it's ghost busters and you're trapping all sorts of ghouls. Marvel as you didn't really have to get your hands terribly gross. Sigh with joy this time as your fingernails are not full of poop you are maniacally trying to scrape off the absorbent loose weave cotton. Once the solids are off it's really just two more steps!
The lifesaving sprayer itself. 5 minute installation - saves me more than 5 minutes per poopy diaper.
Step 9:
Transfer
Now you did have to get a little messy, but still, not poop-under-your-nails messy. You have to hand wring whatever you just rinsed. Wring into toilet, and quickly but delicately hot potato move them into the waiting pail to avoid drips. Flush the toilet here, and maybe do an initial rinse/wipe of hands. If you ended up with poo on the lid of the pail due to poor positioning of the poop vs waterproof cover, clean this now. I keep a vinegar spray bottle in the bathroom - but whatever works for you - windex, bleach, napalm, etc. Once that's good, put lid back on the pail, put pail away!!!! You've totally got this!
Step 10:
Wash
Time to really wash your hands. Do it right, warm water, soap, maybe a degreaser if that's what you're into - we're not judging here. Get yourself some more wine - you survived.
Can you ever feel clean again?
Oh, and remember to rescue the baby from whatever jail you stashed him in before demonstrating your skills with the sprayer.
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