This is a sort of loaded question. It implies I stopped working during pregnancy, and have a position to go back to. It also assumes that I want/need to work, and that working makes the most sense for our family.
Look mom, I'm awake even though I was supposed to be napping!
Due to our two cross country moves, I was unemployed most of pregnancy. So asking if I was going back was just funny to me. Then, with us house-sharing in a different area than we lived pre-moves - my jobs are not local to me. Like, an hour drive for my part time gigs.
Now, I do sorta have jobs open for me. The bar I worked at has open shifts, so I can work those. I was only ever an on-call stagehand. The theater hasn't been able to find a replacement as talented as I, so all I have to do is ask them to put me back on the on-call list regularly, instead of for emergencies only. I also have a video company that I do a little filming for and a little work from home for. That's easy, as I can usually find local videoing to do, so I rarely have to make the trip out to their office.
However, unless we move back into that area, making a two hour drive (round trip) for a 4-6 hour shift seems silly. Especially as I make typically $10-$14 an hour depending on job. So it's a matter of attempting to balance pay with childcare costs!
This leaves me with a few options:
- I do this very piecemeal part-time work, make a long dive for each shift, don't work much.
- This involves bringing Legan with me typically as I have to leave for work before my husband gets home. Then I pass Legan off to my mom/sister while I work. If it's a late shift, I plan for the 2 of us to spend the night so I don't have to wake him to leave, and wake him again when we get home. I do have other family in the area if my mom or sister isn't available - roughly 5 total people to choose from for free.
- Try to find a new bar out in this area, take whatever shifts they have available.
- Potentially have to pay for childcare at $10-12/hour for either an entire lunch shift, or just the first 2 hours of a dinner shift. Weekend shifts are fine. We do have my in-laws around who could help a couple of shifts per week, but would be a huge imposition on them, plus I need to plan ahead for vacations. Also any lunch shift is likely earning me $2/hour take home if I pay for childcare, Dinner shifts are better, as Eric arrives home just before 6, so then childcare costs stop.
- Retail work (joy):
- This would pay less than childcare, therefore I could only accept weekend hours (because I wouldn't be able to start until 6:30 pm during the week, and there aren't shifts that start that late).
- That would either be impossible to find, or if I did find it I would miss out on the option of having all three of us doing anything together as a family.
- Factory work, in shifts.
- 1st shift is out of the question,
- 2nd shift I'd have to find childcare from 2 pm-6 pm, which would eat into about half of my take home pay.
- 3rd shift would pay usually an extra $1/hr plus I wouldn't need childcare. Unfortunately, I would only get to sleep from roughly 6:30 pm-10:30 pm best case during the week, with a potential nap while Legan naps. I would likely need help doing housework to get my nap in, and only giving myself the option of 4 hours of sleep at night isn't sustainable in the long run, especially as he doesn't sleep well at night.
- In addition, Eric's sleep would suffer as he'd be responsible for dealing with wake ups from 11 pm-6/7 am. There are still many.
- I would literally not see Eric awake more than 10 min per day during the week.
- Secretary/Administrative Position:
- This would pay out exactly as much as childcare costs, and would only be able to happen during the day.
- That's just dumb :)
- Childcare: Taking in another kid for a little while during the week while I'm already home with Legan
- This isn't a bad option, and I'm doing just a little bit of it now. If we were in our own house, I could potentially do up to 3 kids total (Legan being one), at our current home 1 extra is definitely the limit.
- This is very dependent upon finding the right other child/age and finding a mom that only needs part time care in my area. Legan is still high needs enough that full time care would be traumatic for all 3 of us.
- Luckily this ISN'T location dependent - I don't need someone to watch Legan while I work, and there are moms everywhere, so no matter where we are it's doable.
It's much easier to get diaper laundry done when I'm at home to do it.
I'm not happy with most of my options at all. I would prefer to be a 100% stay-at-home mom because I love raising my kids, and I don't have a career - only jobs. Therefore none of them will be hurt by my taking a few years off, and none of them pay well enough bother with paid childcare much at all.
Legan helping me "work" by watching this little guy for me.
That being said, I'm definitely OK with the idea of doing a little working part time to supplement, so that we can have our own house and get by alright financially. I just find it funny that so many of my working options would basically end up with me working for free, but in jobs that don't provide health insurance anyway! If health insurance were included, then it might be worth it.
And if Legan was in daycare - he might be jailed for being a sock thief!
I have faith that Eric's job skills and experience are adding up and increasing everyday. I know that finances can change quickly, and that he is a great provider - and becoming a better one. I know that me getting out of the house a little bit here and there and having those funds to add to an emergency or savings fund is a huge benefit. So as we get moved (soon?!) and settled, I'll be doing my best to find some work that not only helps out with our bills, but isn't a burden on any one person too much, as well as doesn't have hours that are traumatic to my family.
He loves fish sticks. Needs to double fist them.
That all being said....it's house hunting time!
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