Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Don't Quit on a Bad Day

I received this great piece of advice while I was struggling to figure out breastfeeding.

Never quit on a bad day.




So much sass!

So glad we didn't quit nursing on one of our bad days!


We did have Legan quit juggling lessons, turns out he's too young :)


Which isn't to say never quit, because honestly everyone has a point of when even healthful things aren't working for you anymore due to stress. Breastfeeding is no different. If it's making you (and baby) really unhappy constantly, then you need to figure out what you can change. If switching to (or supplementing with) formula is what you can do to make your feeding relationship better, then DO IT.


But I really liked this statement. It's way better than "never quit" because a lot of things need quitting. Some of them obvious bad habits, some of them are things that you have outgrown or don't need anymore, and some are really good habits that unfortunately just aren't working for you.


However, that doesn't mean every time you hit a bad patch or rough spot you should quit. Then you'd never accomplish anything difficult. So I like the philosophy. Wait until you're in a better mental place, and reevaluate. Of course if it's been days/weeks of bad, then you can't really keep "waiting" for the perfect time to evaluate, but be smart about it. Don't decide to quit breastfeeding in the middle of a screaming match where you've been bit, you're bleeding/bruised and you and baby are both overtired. At least wait until you can hand baby to daddy (or other support person), and take 20 min to yourself to shower and/or eat ice cream - maybe both. Get as calm as you can in your current life situation and then try to reason out your rational reasons for wanting to quit.


Some top tips here:



  • Don't discount mental/emotional anguish as a legitimate reason to stop something. That is a valid reason to get out of a situation/activity.
  • Try to stick out the activity if you have a limited time obligation and you're over half done
    • AKA you signed up for a 12 week dance class and you're at week 7 or 8. Quitting now (unless there's a serious injury or emergency situation) seems silly!
  • Financial obligations matter as well! I'm more likely to stick with something I've paid for, to a point. That's OK!
  • Don't ever overschedule yourself. If you think you have, give it 4 weeks to try to sink into a pattern that works. If at 4 weeks you're not positive it's working, give it another 2 or 3 weeks. 
  • Sometimes you have to quit something you love because it's not making your life better
  • If you injure yourself or there's some sort of immediate danger (literally cannot eat/sleep even a minimum safe amount due to some activity/hobby/etc), quit immediately, whether it's a good or bad day
  • If you need to stop something you love, see if you can find a replacement
  • This advice works for relationships as well!
    • Don't leave your partner on a bad day/during/because of a big fight. Wait until you've both had time to cool off and think things through. If you are still thinking it needs to end when you're at your best, then OK. If you only want to end things when you're at your worst, then there's something else likely going on.
  • Talk through any major "quitting" with someone you trust, who's preferably uninvolved. No one in your life whether they are friend, family, or partner is truly "un-biased" but be smart with whose advice you are giving the most weight to.

Maybe I should quit my one soda a day habit now that Legan is emulating...

Overall, the biggest important thing I can say is to not feel guilty quitting things you need to quit, but don't quit anything on a whim, especially something important to you.


I've quit a lot of things in the last year, but most of them I've really needed to. I'm working at refilling my days with new things. It's a long slow work in progress, but that's OK, life's about the journey.


Have you ever quit something on a bad day and regretted it later?




Had to quit laundry...for the moment.


Asleep in a pack and play, hooray! 


Happy Easter!

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