There are always reasons to do less than your best. Reasons or excuses even, and sometimes it's damn near impossible to tell the difference. I would define a reason as something entirely outside of your control. Maybe you had a healthy lunch packed at work, but someone stole it out of the fridge or in the rush to get out the door you forgot it today. Perhaps you were planning on getting home to eat a meal and then an emergency cropped up and you either skipped the meal or ate fast food. Life happens.
Excuses on the other hand, are an easy trap to fall into. I was too tired and didn't make my lunch last night, and then I got up late and didn't make it this morning. This is usually followed by (in my experience) "then my coworker suggests (insert favorite junk food restaurant here) for lunch and I just couldn't say no."
Don't berate yourself, even if you got snagged by an excuse. Even if it happened for the last two weeks straight. Remind yourself of two things. 1. You ARE human and you have emotional needs on top of stress. 2. Missing your goal today doesn't stop you from making it tomorrow.
Here's a little story about making REAL changes.
A good friend of mine spent 20 years eating unhealthy, living unhealthy, and being overweight, occasionally obese, and perpetually unhappy with herself.
So she signed up for a Tough Mudder race, a year in advance of course. Or maybe we made the decision more like two years in advance, but had to sign up slightly later. The dating isn't incredibly important. First goal was dropping weight by calorie counting and starting a very slow exercise routine. Starting with long walks, graduating to fast walking with some light running/jogging intervals and she kept moving forward. She did a lot of bike riding and slowly started run workouts. We got together and ran a 5K. It was hot and sunny and messy, but she DID it!
It's now been three years and she's done TWO Tough Mudders in two different states with totally different climates. She's dropped at least 50 lbs at kept it off without crash dieting, without starving herself, and without spending hours in a gym every week.
Which isn't to say that she didn't work hard, especially at first. It was a total lifestyle change, but not into a gym rat or a total "health nut." Just to being a healthy young adult. She's still stressed, she still has weeks where she does NOTHING fitness related, but she's a whole new person.
I was there for her, helping her make healthy choices, and to bounce ideas off of. I would never say I was her motivating force or the tool that shaped her decisions. She made her own choices and decided enough was enough, but my husband and I were there to tell her she was doing a great job. Sometimes we had to tell her to take a break and eat a cookie, sometimes we had to remind her of her training goals. In the months leading up to both races every person in our running group had to take at least a week off at a time for various life/health reasons, but we got back up and did what we could when we could do it.
You haven't failed at your health until you're dead.
So my goal is to help you see your potential, and to give you some tips and tricks to make changes that YOU want to make. Everyone has different goals and every goal comes with several different paths to success.
Important points to note.
- Start small
- Small goals, small steps, small changes. You simply can't do everything at once, so don't try.
- Be considerate...
- ...of your body. Or realistic if you prefer. If you have terrible knees, training for the Ironman is probably not a safe or practical idea at this time. If you are lactose intolerant, put together meal plans without dairy.
- Use your friends
- Find someone to help hold you accountable. Now, they shouldn't have to rag on you, but it doesn't hurt to have a nudge in the right direction. Also, if you have friends that DO love nutrition or exercise, ask for help with ideas.
- Love yourself
- Being more healthy is a lifestyle change. It has to be a welcome one to work, you have to want it for you. At the same time, remember that you have years of habits to overcome. Don't look for perfection, look for an observable change in the long run. You might take 3 steps forward, 2 back, 4 forward, 5 back, and finally 3 steps forward again.
This week I failed at most of my goals. I DID get the Christmas decorations taken care of. Presents are wrapped, some are mailed, and my house is unpacked. Tomorrow we have a plan for getting house clean.
HOWEVER, I have failed to run, with both real reasons and excuses to blame. I have failed to do yoga with only excuses to blame.
Tomorrow, I start with more goals.
- Running at least twice a week
- It's been so long now that I have to start smaller
- Yoga once or twice a week
- I've had a bleeding scare with pregnancy plus I have an injured horse and family coming in town in 2 days - once a week would be fine just to get into a routine
- Strength training once a week
- This is going to be super gentle, but even just a few planks, a few push ups, and maybe some squats and arm curls is going to help slowly. Call it 15 min a week to start. Hubby can force me into this one.
So that's it. I failed since my last goal set, so now I'm trying to use the internet to hold me more accountable, I'm setting smaller goals, and I'm using hubby to encourage. I know that I took more steps backward, so now I'm setting our forward again. If I accomplish anything, it is more than I did the week before, so it's all uphill from here!
I like to think of myself as eating relatively healthy. Not the vegan, 100% organic, nothing out of a box sort, but of the avoiding fast food and eating lots of vegetables sort. So when I was reprimanded by my midwife this week about a box of Velveeta Shells and Cheese, I knew I needed to reach out.
After being a scarily picky eater as a child, then a starving teenager who ate literally anything she could get her hands on in the house, I spent a lot of years trying to come up with a "diet" that worked for me.
Stop. I don't diet. When I say diet, I'm referring to "habitual nourishment" not the crazy idea of super restricting your food amount or type in order to obtain a body that doesn't exist in real life. I knew though that living off of Kraft Mac & Cheese, ramen noodles, hamburger helper, and Steak and Shake would not be sustainable forever.
Unfortunately, the overwhelming majority of people out there can't just decide to eat just anything. Maybe celebrities can, because they can afford anything, at any time, plus paying someone else to shop and cook and clean up. The rest of us though, have just a few more details to consider.
- SHOPPING: Who shops in your household, do you do it? Does a parent, a roommate, a partner? Whoever shops makes the decisions.
- FINANCES: Who funds these shopping trips and how much extra do they have to spare? Are they interested in a healthy diet?
- TIME: Time to shop, time to compare prices, time to clip coupons, time to cook, and time to clean up afterwards - who has all this time?
- OTHER: Does your household have a picky eater, or one with a dietary restriction? If so, you can be easily led into either spending more time & money on multiple meal preparations simultaneously or choosing to cater exclusively to the limited person.
Any one of these criteria can very easily limit your meal options. PLEASE CONSIDER THOUGH - you can get stuck in a rut with any of these criteria too. There may be options you haven't considered.
When it comes to shopping, I have very little input as to making this easier. I can offer only a couple suggestions. Make sure you & your partner (if they do the shopping) are on the same page when it comes to what foods to keep in the house, what staples you need, what are fun occasional splurges, and what is really only to be allowed for special events. Do your best to keep a list, and get what you need. TAKE THE LIST TO THE STORE. Put it in your phone, or a scrap of paper, or text/email it to yourself. We manage to shop only every 10-14 days, with an occasional quick stop in between where we grab milk & maybe a bag or two of apples or oranges. We use fresh vegetables as our limiting shopping factor. We buy as much other food as we need to get through the end of our veggies.
Finances are also a toughie. You only have as much money as you have. So maybe you can't afford organic everything, or maybe anything. Well, at least do what you can to get higher quality ground beef and fresh produce - even if you'd really prefer organic ground turkey. You aren't perfect, and even you shouldn't expect yourself to be. However, remember that your food budget includes what you spend eating out and on fast food. Every lunch someone can bring to work or school is saving budget for better quality ingredients. We bring leftovers as lunch to work - there's almost always a mini fridge and microwave at our jobs. Also, keep in mind that single serving meals, or pre-prepared family size freezer meals are still generally more expensive per serving than buying the main ingredients in bulk and making several meals out of them.
This same principle can be applied to your time constraints as well. Making one large meal, with lots of leftovers and only cooking every other or every third day can save more time than an easier meal, but having to find the time every night. Those fast food or counter service meals you eat out? Not only are they expensively and typically unhealthy, but they also cost you time on the road, plus time you lose later because you didn't make leftovers. There are always exceptions and unexpected schedule changes that necessitate fast food/quick counter service restaurants for us, but I think it's really only 4-5 times a year. Otherwise, we plan ahead and schedule in our meals or at least bring hearty snacks to get us through. Almonds, apples, and granola bars are just a few of our go-to options for food on the go.
Dietary restrictions are a major hurdle and so is a picky eater that is catered to. However, there's a big difference between a two year old with only 6 items she'll eat, and a teenager who swears that broccoli will kill him. Use your common sense. Don't make an issue out of nothing with you toddler. I am an example, I eventually learned to eat and like pretty much everything because my mom didn't fight me. She made sure I took 3 bites of everything she made, and she always made sure there was at least one item on the table I liked. Struggling with a gluten free or lactose free meal option might take more creativity and more sacrifice on the rest of the family. First step is to make sure there is an allergy or sensitivity of course, and then do what you can to research substitutions into your normal favorite meals. Rice or corn pasta can avoid wheat problems and leaving the cheese off of a casserole makes avoiding dairy much easier. Google knows almost everything, it's a great recipe research tool. Search for substitutions rather than whole meal plans to make sure your dishes still taste great and are as easy to prepare.
That all being said though, normal people CANNOT expect 100% awesome eating all the time. You don't have to. Have a beer! Now, don't have 6 beers a night every night, but beer doesn't exclude you from eating healthy. I eat spinach in almost all my meals, we go through pounds of fresh veggies from Costco (just the two of us) every week. But when I'm in my first trimester and stressed out, plus easily nauseated - sometimes I'm just going to have ramen and Velveeta. That's okay too. It's not a failure, it's not falling off the bandwagon. It's accepting that I'm human and comfort food is a real thing. Christmas is coming and I can't have WINE, so dammit I'm going to make sure I get some calories in that I really enjoy. So sue me, super crunchy midwife. I have a complete aversion to all things dessert right now, so I am being pretty good.
JK! I actually love her and I know she's doing her job, educating me. I still refuse to feel guilty though. Moderation is all you can expect.
I began this journey several year ago - ok, nearer to a decade - but that's a story for another day. I could go into background for pages.
The important thing here today though, is taking the first step. Through a series of wonderful and awful events (more wonderful by far), I found myself newly married to the man of my dreams & college crush but living in my mother's rental home with her and my younger sister. 4 adults and a dog in a 2 bedroom with a leaky basement is just downright sh***y all the way around. Luckily we had a reason for the chaos and a plan. Fast forward 5 months and we're 1300 miles away in the land of the seemingly eternal sunshine (AND humidity). We've both got new jobs, and we're renting a trailer...mobile home? Or is manufactured home more PC nowadays? I don't know, but either way it's a double wide. Upsides: double the square footage of the last place hubby and I rented by ourselves, great layout, and central AC - my first in a decade! Downsides: trailer park, warped wall paneling, gross floors. Complications: Being 3 months pregnant with our first child & trying to work on the house, work full time, and find a way to exercise PLUS eat healthy.
So, small steps.
We resumed our running schedule finally, as we took about a month off while we recouperated from a demanding (read theoretically dangerous and definitely ridiculous run) race plus started on our wall problems.
We started being able to stock up on groceries the way we're accustomed to, we have a full fridge and a kitchen of our own for the first time since April.
Most importantly though, it's time to remember how to destress and just let life come at us. We can't live in reaction mode all the time.
Current worries:
- Keeping pregnancy quiet for another two weeks for a Christmas announcement
- Maintaining run schedule
- Starting a yoga schedule
- Get the house decorated & fully unpacked for house guests arriving in 2 weeks
- Wrap and mail Christmas presents
Strategies for achieving this:
- DON'T post on Facebook about how I feel, especially if tired or nauseous.
- DON'T let myself sit down at computer right after work. T, Th, and 1 weekend day I'm not allowed to shower unless I got a run in.
- Dedicate just 20 minutes a day to get off computer, kindle, and ass to yoga - read about it every other day, do a short practice on the other days. Remember, in your own home you can do only 3 easy poses in your underwear if that's ALL you can handle
- Unpack at least 2 boxes a day during week. 5-6 on weekends for the next week. The week after I will split up to get house decorated, and then a deep clean.
- Ask hubby to wrap my presents (hey, delegating is an important skill). Make sure that happens by Wed, so they can be mailed out in time.
In the meantime, I need to remember to breathe. The universe tends to unfold as it should, and there are no life-threatening situations hanging over my head. Everyday I can only do what I can do and keep moving forward on the teeter-totter of life.
