Only Half-Crazy

So in the last few weeks, I have learned I can ride a bike, do some gentle indoor rock climbing, and run. My pelvis is at least somewhat more put together, finally.

I'm going to do a short post soon about what I think made the biggest difference there, but...this change brings us to a new thing.

I allowed myself to get talked into attempting another half marathon.

Now, the last one, I ended up with a partial tear to my plantar fascia (the band of tendon that runs from heel to ball of feet on the bottom), 3 months no weight bearing, months of PT and a whole year before I could run again. So, to say I'm a little nervous is an understatement.

Now, we're starting slower, increasing slower, I have different shoes and might get even slightly more supportive shoes soon, AND, and this is the biggest one, we're making a point to train on the same surface the run will be on. Last time we did our longest runs mostly on dirt, but the race was on asphalt and concrete. I'm hoping this makes a huge difference.

That all being said, we were training 6 years ago now and my body is not the same. And training is not the same. Either I have to wait to do my training runs until after the kids are in bed (or wake up to finish them before kids are awake, HAHAHAHAHA), or there's potential for Jade's second nap being cut short, running in the hottest part of the day, putting more stress into the already chaotic 5-8 pm chaos of Eric gets home, make dinner, do kid baths and bed rush, but get to run with Eric, and he pushes the stroller. I am too out of shape to run with the stroller at training level distances. Our huge double with kids loaded is 100 lbs. Our single which can hold both kids for me to run at least reduces that to 80 lbs and less ground resistance but...still. It's just not practical.

Running in hottest part of day and listening to Legan ask 1000 questions and argue all the answers as I struggle to keep my pace and breathe is...hard. Hard physically, hard mentally, hard emotionally. Just hard. Having to make sure I have dinner taken care of before Eric gets home (even if that just means making sure that we have leftovers ready, because cooking everyday is for OTHER people), kids prepped and ready to leaven upon his arrival (which varies by almost an hour, so that's fun), and missing out on the normal hour I have when he gets home that I like to spend dumping kids on him while I do some emergency house maintenance in somewhat quiet.....is hella hard. And so is running by myself in the dark, or by myself in the morning and losing sleep over it. So....idk. 

I'm trying, I'm really really really trying. But at this point in my life, running isn't mind therapeutic at all, because trying to eek out the time to do it, plus listening to even more of my kids' whining and questions is doubling stress. 

And bike riding as a form of fitness instead of either fun or occasional transport, that's new to me, and I don't think I like it. I have a super cheap mountain style bike, so lots of weight on my wrists and hands. Plus I'm just not great at it, so it's hard and stressful. Staying upright and in a straight line is work for me. Hills are bad all the way around - up is way too hard and down is way too fast and scary.

But cross training during run training is SO important to help avoid injury. So we're trying to get a family fitness bike ride in per week (kids in bike trailer behind Eric), and a yoga/strength training session in too for other muscle building, because you really want to put mulitple stresses on your body, so it adapts and gets stronger more evenly, which keeps you from having a strong muscle completing with a weak muscle, which pulls unevenly on joints and...causes injury.

So I'm trying. I really am. But I worry I may have bit off more than I can chew. 

Because I'm getting less kid free time and I'm adding more stress of all kids plus just being more tired. Hopefully it evens out as I'm only a week in. And hopefully my body reacts by getting stronger, and making it all feel easier. Hopefully Jade and Legan stop whining during training so much (hahaha). Hopefully I get better at time management or at least nap management to cut down on some of the feel of timing stress; or at least keep it from getting worse as workouts get longer.

Hopefully.

And hopefully, we can find people to hang out with the kids on the race route that morning, while we run. Because no strollers allowed in the race itself.

In the meantime....I'm just trying to keep it all together, somehow. 

More photos to come. I promise.

And the title...well, running a marathon is CRAZY. So running a half marathon? Only HALF-crazy!

So big

Eat the shower curtain!

Snacks at the pool

Couch selfie

The bike trailer, terrible photo

She just wants to go

another pose 

We're super classy, but, he has a helmet on!

Daily Grind

I'm not really sure why I'm typing this up. I feel like I should. So maybe it's helpful for me just to see it, or maybe it's helpful to someone else or read it. Or maybe I just get it out of my head and it stops asking to be written down.

They loved gyros, apparently

I wanted to just put a quick rundown of my basic routine with kids alone on my average weekday.

6:20 am, Jade wakes me up after probably getting me up 2-4 times the night before. Am tired. Nurse baby
6:30-6:45 Get dressed in clothes I laid out the night before, pee, have 5 min to chat with Eric while he chats with Jade too
6:45-7:30 ish. Go downstairs, get Jade into clean diaper, get my hair brushed. Get water. Try to have Jade entertain herself with toys while I spend a few minutes logging our night sleep, and take a couple to myself to stretch, grunt about tired. Touch base with on a mom forum or check Facebook notifications. Just waiting for Legan to get up
7:30-8 Legan is up. Fight with him for a diaper change, change Jade again, let dogs out, and try to get breakfast on table without stepping on anyone or Jade losing her crap
8-8:45 Eat real quick. Pick Jade's food up off floor a million times. Try to answer Legan's questions quickly and convince him to eat in less than an hour. Frequently, limited success. Then clean up both kiddos.
8:45-9, let them play for a smidge while I empty dishwasher, handwash the couple of things sitting from dinner, fill dishwasher, wipe down counter, table, and high chairs. Finish any coffee or Dr. Pepper of my own so I can brush my teeth. OR, if floors are critically dirty, make sure to vacuum in here.
9-9:25 Kid's teeth and hair get brushed, with only some help from them. Another round of diapers and frequently spraying out a Legan poop. 
9:25-9:45 Shuffle Legan and dogs into basement to play. Get Jade nursed, lay her in bed for nap 1. Lasts 35 min - 2.5 hours, lol. Usually about 90 minutes.
9:45-10:15 ish If I have clean diapers or clothes to put away, or didn't get to dishwasher or dishes earlier, now's the time. 
10:15-11:30 Legan time. Frequently this is when I start wash on a load of diapers. Very occasionally I have to fold a load real quick. If we're inside, play with him for a while in basement, let him play alone some too. If it's nice - GO OUTSIDE AND SCREW FOLDING DIAPERS. If basement floor is super gross, can sneak in vacuuming in basement while Jade naps.
11:30-12:30 Work on making lunch and inevitably Jade waking up in the middle of the process regardless of when I start it. Try to remember to change Legan, then get him seated and eating, change Jade, nurse her, throw her in high chair to pick at food while I scarf stuff down. Legan gets down first once I clean him. He gets 10-20 min to play while I clean up Jade and lunch remnants, plus make sure his room is set for nap-lay out naptime diaper, get white noise on, make sure his special blankie and froggy are in the room.
12:30-1:15 ish. Potentially change and spray out Jade poop. Get Legan changed again. Involves fighting and wrestling. Read 0-2 books depending on timing and amount of crazy that happens with diaper change. Jade joins us for book time. Then Jade and dogs go to basement to hang out while I nurse Legan and tuck him in. Should be out by 1:30, and sleep until 3:30/4. YAY. Get Jade's room set for nap (white noise and such) when I leave his room.
1:30 - 2 or 3. Play with Jade alone time. Right now we're practicing crawling or standing and holding onto stuff. If it's nice out, we can go outside for 30-60 min, or if I need to fold stuff by now, it's a great time. If her first nap was short though, she's usually down for nap 2 right after Legan goes down. That's a great day. If she woke up as lunch was finishing, then I play with her for a while, change her, try to get her entertained by herself so I can have some ALMOST kid-free time usually writing or just perusing Facebook or watching an episode of TV that she mostly ignores. 
2:30-4 Typically pretty alone here because usually both kids are asleep together for an hour. On bad days, Jade wakes up right before Legan goes down, and then is going down as Legan is waking up. Those days are hard.
4-5/5:30 Weird time of day. Eric is probably getting home soon. If cooking needs to be done, I'm rushing to do it while Legan is being obnoxious. Jade is likely waking up in the midst and gets a quick diaper and boob and rides on my back. If it's not a cooking day, we try to all go on a walk/play outside in nice weather. If it's crappy out, and I don't need to cook, I hide while Eric plays with kiddos and dogs. 


Here is where it gets really fun. Here's 2 different options depending upon naps. Sometimes kids are on different bed time schedules, in which case dinner is together and early, but 1 kid gets a long play time while the other kid and parent is starting bedtime. Generally Eric handles Legan (and I just have to nurse him at the end) and I handle Jade. I'm quicker at getting her cleaned up and dressed.

Schedule for bad bad bad nap day

5:30 Dinner. If we don't have time to feed parents now, so be it, Legan gets PB&J and we move on. When he's tired he takes like 30-45 minutes to eat almost nothing, but I have to try.
6:15-6:30 Brief playtime while dinner cleaned up and mom sets out pajamas, gets both rooms ready to receive kiddos, and picks out clothes for kiddos and mom for tomorrow
6:30 Start bedtime routine for 1 or both kiddos, whoever is going to bed early. Teeth brushing, diaper change, pajamas, books, hugs & kisses, then nursing and tucking in. It's the same for either kid, though we skip books if it's just Jade going down. She'll join in books if they're going down at the same time.
7:15 - tired kid or kids in bed. If one kid still up, it's basement playtime with Dad usually, but sometimes mom too.

Schedule for if naps were OK, so bedtime is roughly 8/8:15

Play until dinner
6:15 Dinner chaos!!!! Legan is usually in crazy mode by now. Jade is just kinda cranky in general. I try to nurse her before dinner, but sometimes it's too crazy in the house and she won't. Sometimes eating takes an hour because Legan is trying to talk and play.
6:45-7:30 Bath or play time. Depends on the day. Kiddos bath together. They love that. Or they play for a while with Dad or dogs. When nights start being warmish we'll try to alternate. Bath 1 day, play inside with Dad 1 day, family walk 1 day. Hair brushed after baths.
7:30 Start bedtime, teeth, diapers, pajamas, books. Best case, we do all those together, then I nurse Legan while dad gets a few extra minutes with Jade, and then I nurse Jade and both kids out by 8:15. If Jade gets too fussy, I instead nurse her during books and lay her down right before nursing him. Whomever can't hang goes down first. Hoping that once she's over a year and we can communicate a little better, and nursing is less her way of eating and more for supplemental nutrition and comfort that I can nurse them at the same time, and just have Daddy lay Jade down while I tuck in Legan....but we're not there yet. 

After they are in bed, it's parent clean up time. Make sure dinner was totally cleaned up, fill up and start dishwasher, parent showers, diapers folded and get in a little adult time via video games, board games or TV from like 9-10. Then get ourselves ready for bed, climb in by 10:30/11p. 

Jade wakes up for more feeds at either 11, 3, 5, OR 11, 1:30, 4, 5:30. 

I get not nearly enough sleep, and start over. 

Getting extra cleaning done happens during one of the solo kid play times. Errands mean waking Jade up after 45 minutes from her first nap (or making breakfast happen super fast and push her nap later). OR if she has a short second nap, run errands at 4 pm, and do leftovers for dinner. 

I try to some me time during nap time. Sometimes I have to do appointment scheduling or wool care or extra cleaning duties there. But I try to take time to myself because I'm in danger of losing my mind if I don't.

And it is exhausting, but there are so many hugs and kisses and smiles. But hopefully one day, there will be less naps and so less structured chaos....I think?

Modeling with her Jade bunny

We managed to see the best kite ever during a kite fest on a walk just a quarter mile from our house

The cutest ever duo in the best hats

These are messy fierce kisses

Somedays I even get bigger kid cuddles

She's trying so so hard, and she managed to learn to crawl

baby toes!

She has learned to pull up to her feet

Legan modeling the flowers from the wedding I was just in

Another Car Key Saga

You would have thought I would have learned the first time. But no. The perfect storm happened again. At least this was a cheap issue - it only cost time, muscles, and dignity.

My mom had been staying with us for a few weeks, and she flew in. So, I had her keep my spare car key in her purse so coming and going was easier on all parties. No big deal at all - it just meant that it wasn't hanging up on my wall.

Then, because my mom is awesome and hasn't had a real break to herself without her mom, or my kids and dogs being all in her space and ears (serious noise and privacy pollution over at this house), I got together with her siblings and my sister and a friend and we rented her an RV and got her money to park it for a almost a week. She got to get out of here and relax alone by herself. Hooray.

So...while she was out doing that, I was working on taking care of some of my own crap. Like, I'm the Maid of Honor in a wedding soon. And, my dress lets my bra hang out. Because the straps are too long. My cheap sewing machine and my mediocre skills are not enough to solve this, so through a series of efforts I managed to call and schedule an appointment with a local (IN TOWN EVEN!) seamstress. She got me on the books right away because it's prom season and she's busy so she wanted dress in and out ASAP. Totally fair. So I get up the next morning, get Jade into a nap schedule that will probably make it OK, get everything together, stuff to amuse the kids for the 10 minutes we'll be there, and put on my spanx under my sweats just to make everything go smoothly while we're there. I pack up the bag with dress and baby things and a water cup (because toddler) and go to start the car, while I put coats and shoes on and plan to grab Jade from her nap and drop her into the car, because we'll only be gone 20 minutes. 

Did I mention it was the coldest day in two weeks? Yeah, it was like 26 degrees. And REALLY windy. And overcast. Just icky out. 

But I can't find my keys. There's not hanging up. They're not on my desk or in my pocket of my jacket or my pants or my sweatshirt from the other day. Haven't had them since I got home from the RV drop off....with two overtired sleeping kiddos. Shit. Check the car, check the basement. Text my husband in case he picked them up and they're in his coat pocket. Check car again. Check house again. Do this 4 more times. Give up. Shit. Call the lovely seamstress. Explain. Ask her if I can come in this evening (don't offer for tomorrow morning, because I might not have keys until my mom gets back into town.....just in case). Nope, she's got all evenings and weekends booked because of proms. Ok...can she wait thirty minutes? Sure. 

So now I'm packing up the kids into the double stroller. Loaded backpack and more water. Did I mention I had spanx on already? Yeah. And it's super cold. I put on a thick sweatshirt, but no coat. Kids going into their stroller bags (they're so warm and nice) and the canopies go up to protect from wind. Also, the location is .1.5 miles away. And my pelvis is not 100%. Either way, I don't want to inconvenience her anymore. Stroller, plus kiddos, plus bag is literally 100 lbs. Wow. And I am doing short jogs between. I'm sweaty. In spanx. And in the cold. 

We get there, I apologize, and it takes more time to get kids out, inside, undressed and then redressed and back into stroller than it does for my entire fitting. But she was gracious and patient. I apologized some more. 

Legan is now cranky because we passed by a park on the way. So I tell him we can can stop for 10 minutes on the way home. We get to the playground and it starts sleeting. I can't make this up. He is dressed warm, but not warm enough for that and he doesn't like sleet either. Back into the stroller, and canopies shift. I'm back to trying to get them back ASAP and not caring that I can't breath and my everything hurts. I'm shuffling with some hint of speed (on the not-uphill parts at least). Get back home. Now we were gone about 90 minutes total. And we're late for lunch and I have to change all my clothes and get stroller into garage because the bags are wet. Now Jade is starving, I'm exhausted and in pain...just etc etc etc etc. Kids at least go down for nap at the same time and I get a short break. Where I have extra comfort food and extra warm socks and the TV with no laundry or blogging. Just dog cuddling. I had wine that night and everything because I figured I needed the calories.

I must have. By the end of the week - I had lost my usual half pound (almost down to pre-baby weight!), so I most not have overdone it.

Kiddos all cozy in their stroller right as it started sleeting

Between bags and canopies they were dry once we got home...I was not

Eric gets home and we have a movie on - it's still sleeting and it's still cold and Legan is bored and I hurt everywhere. My arms and shoulders and back from pushing, and my legs and lungs and pelvic girdle from running/instability. He asks if I've found my keys yet. Lol, I was so pissed off and frustrated, I didn't even look after I got home. I knew the keys were somewhere at home. He found them, in a place I had already checked several times. So, I could have avoided the chaos. But...I had been up since 5 am and wasn't able to use enough brains to find them. I managed. We lived. But sigh.

And so...Easter photos!

Looking cute

I don't know why they were taking this walk, but it was so cute

He was so proud that he skewered the pine cone

Legan dyeing eggs - he was pretty independent about it

Kids sharing a swing at the park

We had a mini photo shoot because it was so nice and she was so cute

Getting ready for the park district Easter Egg Hunt

Getting chicken & fries after the hunt

Easter basket in the morning

Jade really wanted to eat everything

She was really into Easter baskets

Picnic lunch outside, feeding her on a silicone mat

Legan juggling just like daddy

Handling the Toddler Stomach Bug

Either you get a call/text/see a Facebook post from a friend who you just visited...and you shudder. Or you don't know the origin, but you see the look on the face. 

Here it comes....gastroenteritsis, the "flu" (which is a terrible name as it's totally unrelated to influenza), a stomach bug. Your toddler is going to turn into the saddest geyser ever.

He's never passed out in front of the TV before. Poor guy.

Side note: My sweet baby boy crying "Please I wanna feel better" like 6 times before he pukes everywhere is so heartbreaking.

So here's my short list on how to hopefully survive your worst nightmare. 

1. Catch up on laundry. At the first sign of potential stomach bug, make sure you are 100% entirely caught up on as much laundry as possible. Towels, blankets, kids clothes, etc.
2. Wash your hands. Seriously, wash them. 
3. Bowls, large cups, buckets, trash cans, etc. Put them everywhere, accessible to everyone. 
4. Wash your hands again. 
5. Get some amazing mom skills. In 20 episodes I caught I think 17 of them, his dad caught 2, Gigi 1. I know that if my boy is saying his tummy hurts, and then he starts crying, just pick him up and RUN to the bathroom (or again, whatever closest receptacle. I got so good at predicting them, I knew he was going to before he did. So get some super powers, and stare at the sick kids, especially those too young to get to the bucket themselves.
6. Layer the beds (and/or couches). Waterproof cover, then sheet, then waterproof cover, then sheet, etc. 3 total layers on each bed and preferably couch or crib applicable.
7. Wash your hands. Again.
8. Stock up on pedialyte, gatorade, or breastmilk to make sure you have things to help prevent and/or help solve dehydration
9. Back to the sink - wash those hands.
10. Talk to neighbors, friends, and/or family to DELIVER the above fluids and/or ramen/soup, crackers, and laundry detergent.
11. Do that hand washing thing, again. Lots of soap.
12. Turn on the TV. Find kid's shows that you don't hate too much, and binge them. Have adult shows on standby just in case the kids pass out.
13. When it seems they can't keep anything down, wait an hour after the last episode, then offer small amounts of fluids on a strict timetable. I'm not kidding, literally set a 15 minute timer and allow like 15 mL at a time. If after 3 hours of that everything is OK, up to 30 mL. If there are more episodes, start over. 
14. Those hands? Wash them again.
15. Now's a good time for a good long cry. 
16. Then cry some some more, it's good for you.
17. Wash those hands again.
18. Then run to the toilet, cuz we all know you aren't going to avoid it. Sorry.

Sick daddy being comforted by Spock

Next morning, starting to feel better

Getting them both clean the next day

Feeling better and getting aired out after a long day of play

Chicken hanging out of her mouth. She was the only one who remained unscathed.

Healthy mom and kiddos

Time playing outside

Kiddos conspiring against us. Also, they're freaking adorable in the stroller

Toddlers, Privacy, and Menstrual Cups

CW: It's going to get real here, about real life menstruation

Here's a little more backstory to my ever-so-popular Facebook post.

Got mail with two menstrual cups after my old one died. 

I can't do anything alone. Not that I'm surprised, or generally bothered by it, but it does make some things more exciting or even funny as parents.

He asks me about my every poop, and pee. We get to discuss farts and burps and when mommy is too tired.

The upsides include discussing getting hugs to help feel better, and the downsides include never getting a snack to yourself, because now both kiddos are up my butt all the time demanding anything and everything I have.

I'm also lucky enough to have gotten my menstrual cycle back early after pregnancy, even while breastfeeding exclusively. 

But you know what's really fun with a toddler? Trying to discretely handle your menses.

About 6, 6.5 years ago I jumped off the disposable product bandwagon. 

I've always been super active and therefore gave up on pads very early. They feel like diapers, they literally chafe up my thighs. That and their wonderful ability to let you feel the gush out, and to crumple up at the wrong moment, so they can direct that lovely gush straight off the pad.

So nope to those, except postpartum. Just no.

So I used tampons for many many years. The freedom was pretty cool, ability to swim was good, less leaking, etc. But between not wanting to flush them, but hating dealing with trying to wrap them up and dispose of in the trash, and usually having animals in the house....well, they weren't perfect. Plus they sucked to deal with for the light flow days, because they hurt to pull out on those days. 

Enter, menstrual cups. The most popular known brand in the US is The Diva Cup there's some seriously hilarious reviews there. Basic idea is a little silicone vessel that literally sits inside your vagina below your cervix. It collects the flow, and you dump it out into the toilet, wash it up, and put it back in. It's not exactly that easy, there's some mess, there's a learning curve on selecting the right cup - size, shape, firmness, etc. But, it's definitely my preference. I like that it helps with smell and waste, and pain. I like not having to buy more tampons and I like that it actually holds much more than a tampon. And it stops leaks.

BUT....Legan is fascinated. Like way too much.

So he got the crash course in the female cycle. Mommy bleeds from her vagina every month when there isn't a baby in my belly/uterus. This is the special cup mommy uses to catch the blood so it doesn't make a mess in my clothes. That sort of thing. He loves helping me get a pantyliner out to use too. I use cloth ones, which makes sense to him, wearing cloth diapers and all.

Well, a couple of days after our main discussion, we were out at our new favorite indoor play place. He's running around like a maniac, so much fun. And it's warm and he's sweaty. I ask him if he's thirsty.

And...he runs up to me and lifts my shirt and starts reaching for my pants. I'm lost for a moment. I stop him but I'm just sitting there staring open-mouthed. Luckily I had told the story of explaining menstruation to Legan that morning to my friends. Who were at the play place. My one friend is standing right next to me. She laughs. She nods. She says your CUP.

Oh. OH. Oh my. I had even included in my explanation to him that it was a special cup for catching blood. 

I guess I hadn't specifically stated that we didn't drink out of it originally.

His statement, and I repeat, is "Want mom's cup. Water. Cup in mom's butt, want water, please?"

So I say that now. The cup in mommy's vagina is for catching blood only. We do not drink out of that cup. There's no water in it. Would you like to go get your water cup?

Yeah. My toddler thinks that I store a drinking vessel for his pleasure. Up my ass.

So that's mom life in a nutshell. It's like living with tiny drunk hilarious tantrum throwing college kids. 

The cup in question

The view from my toilet with the culprit

On Gigi's birthday Gigi and Daddy decided that Jade needed some chocolate cake.

She's deciding that bowling just might be fun, and her brother's coat is comfy.

Smiley girl, and tie-dye shoes.

Playing with blankets in the pack and play.

OMG she's so so so big