Pregnancy Update Weeks 28-30

Baby size/Important facts: Baby has grown from 2.5 to a smidge over 3 lbs, and should be 17" long or more. Practicing hiccups, breathing, and starting to accumulate fat too. Just this week, is making his/her own red blood cells in his/her bone marrow for the first time! Huge marker for doing well outside the womb.

Size comparisons: We went from a lunch box to a loaf of bread. Here's all the funny things we went through: baseball hat, original Nintendo gaming system, 1 lbs basket of wings, gallon jug of milk, skull of T-800, and Gizmo! Here's the current (in one day) size: stack of TV dinners (didn't say how many) or a cheesecake from The Cheesecake factory.

Weight Change: Total gain of ~25 lbs, back on the gaining train

Waist Change: 

• Week 10
• Waist: 29" 
• Bellybutton: 33.5" 
• Size gain this week alone:
• Waist: N/A
• Bellybutton: N/A 
• Total gain: 
• Waist: 6.5"
• Bellybutton: 8.5"

Maternity clothes: Doing well, which is good, as I now have clothes scattered amongst two different states for the next week ish. Gotta be careful folding down the bands in the high belly bottoms because they can dig in when I sit, but if I pull them up it's hot and the seam shows right about at my belly button level. I'm now starting to wonder what I'm going to wear to nurse in - at least when I have to leave the house. 

Not me, but This is the bra I think I want - it comes in my size! Thank you Dairy Fairy for coming up with a size called "Petite Plus" which covers those of us with small band/large boob issues!

Bra changes: No new sizing, which is good! Picked up a few more for nursing. I have one more online store that carries I think ONE bra in my size before I'll have to resort to $80 bras at Nordstroms or even more pricey options...

Stretch marks: Still not seeing any.

Sleep: Touch and go. This week I'm sleeping alone so that is both awesome for stealing pillows and not being too hot - but it's lonely which is hard. Last week bouncing around between air mattresses and such was pretty rough, plus I had a cold.

Workouts: Haha, well that's pretty much done, though I haven't given up yet! I did quit riding purposefully. I rode a shorter amount of time but was sore even WHILE riding, so I decided we were done with that game. I did a few more yoga and lifting workouts, but then had to pack up my stuff. I ran once more I think, and I'm willing to go back to 2-3 mile run/walks...as soon as I have someone to go with though. I don't like going alone ever, but especially not now. 

Diet: Had a lovely sushi meal last week plus all sorts of other fun meals while we were out and about. This week I'm just trying to get by on bare basics so not the best but I'm making sure to get tuna and spinach into my organic macaroni and cheese. Is it the best? Nope! But it doesn't cost me $10 a meal and keeps the fridge empty. 

Mr. Barley having Barley/Baby snuggle time while I was working hard on Mommy/Barley snuggle time. Good enough! 

Best moment this week: Reuniting with Mr. Barley after a whole 10 days without him. He doesn't necessarily hang out with me all the time, but at least he snuggles well. I'm hoping that after birth he'll go back to his constant cuddles whenever I sit down. 

Miss anything: Sleep and comfort driving!

Food cravings: Had my Qdoba burrito finally. It was AWESOME. Plus some actual decent pizza in Chicago. Which was magical. Otherwise, no real cravings.  

Anything making you queasy or sick? Eating too fast. 

Sex Guess: I've decided that A: so many people are convinced it's a boy that it must be a girl and B: my dear husband is SUCH a constant dancer that there's no way a son of his would really be this chill in the womb, therefore it must be a girl. So girl for now.  

I think I'm only 4 weeks ahead and it's her second baby, but wow, I'm feeling huge in comparison!

Labor signs: Nothing new, just working on making sure that I balance drinking enough water with not letting my bladder get full to make sure the braxton hicks stay irregular.  

Symptoms: Heartburn (mostly after pizza or other awesome foods), braxton hicks, baby dance parties, hip/pelvis soreness, gas, and pinched nerves in the rib area - mostly when sitting esp. in a car. 

Baby position: very much breech! We're going to try to get to a chiropractor in the next two weeks and go a few times before birth just to see if it will help him/her figure out it's time to start flipping over.

Belly button in or out? Out. As long as I'm doing anything. It actually retreats back in when I lay down a bit. 

Our soon to be ex-walls, and the new lime green ring from Qalo

Wedding rings on or off: Off, and on a necklace. Loving my silicone ring though!

Emotional state: Very stressed out with move and final details and being home alone and not happy with the prenatal care/birthing location options up north. Still haven't made a final decision as to where I'll have care/delivery, but I know that none of the options fulfill all of my wants.

Looking forward to: Getting unpacked and therefore being able to finally set up the nursery! I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to have everything we need by week 34 in case this little leech debuts early, and I'll be at 31 weeks by the time I have a chance to start, so it's FREAKING GO TIME! Plus I need a stroller, high chair, diapers, bottles, and several other essentials still...

Week 30 picture to be shown with week 31, as I can't take it until Saturday, and we'll be on the road until Monday.

Here's a few fun shower pictures! More pictures of gifts/baby items in the next two weeks as I finally get to take stuff out and get it washed and such!

Desserts! With a ducky cake!

Diaper "cake"!

Oh wow so many gifts, and ADORABLE banner!

We're trying to look cute, I'm not impressed.

Handmade onesies!!

And a few more of them!

Handmade afghan!

How many people received handmade gifts at their baby shower?

Pregnancy Update Week 27

Baby size/Important facts: Baby is just over 2 lbs. Practicing breathing and showing serious brain activity for the first time!

Size comparisons: Rutabaga, 7-11 Double Gulp Cup, and still children's lunch box. Nothing fun this week... 

Weight Change: Total gain of ~22 lbs, back on the gaining train
Waist Change: 

• Week 10
• Waist: 29" 
• Bellybutton: 33.5" 
• Size gain this week alone:
• Waist: .05" 
• Bellybutton: 0" 
• Total gain: 
• Waist: 5.5"
• Bellybutton: 7.5"

Maternity clothes: Doing OK! A friend told me she sent me a care package in the mail of some summer stuff, plus I picked up a dress, a sleep bra, and two tanks this week too, so now I feel like I am probably set until I'm ready for my non-maternity stuff in late July/August, at least I hope that's when I'll be back into it. I even do have one formal dress I could wear to a wedding or similar if need be!

Bra changes: Sports bra is getting a little tight at the bottom from belly, so now we're using it with 2 of 10 clasps undone, because I'm just not classy! It's still doing it's job though, so no real complaints.

Stretch marks: Not sure why I can't find them, but not complaining.

Sleep: Been rough, just having a hard time staying cool at night mostly. Plus I had a painful week, so everytime I got up to pee it woke me up a lot.

Isn't this creepy? It's a little scary, but I always feel better if I prepare myself with all of the information ahead of time. Just gonna say the human body is AMAZING!

Workouts: Well I fell off the bandwagon. Going to do yoga tonight, but last Saturday when I ran and rode my horse both on the same day I could barely walk Sun or Mon due to crotch (pelvis) pain. I was doing *better* by Tuesday but have since avoided both horse and running as it hasn't gone all the way away. I'm going to see if I can do less riding (shorter time) and less running on different days this week and see if that helps. It all hurt enough that I didn't even want to do yoga or strength train for fear of doing further damage.

Diet: After venting for a bit I did better this week on eating. Not always the best food, but comfort food - plus whatever we need gone out of the house. I only have ten days to eat this food up and pack before leaving, so it's not going to be the best nutrition likely during that. However, hopefully while I'm up north for the 10 days in the middle of that I can get more of my veggie 

Am I weird for still having this sitting around? Now I'm kinda curious as to when the battery is going to die.

Best moment this week: Hm. I had a really good snugglefest with Barley the other day, that was probably my best moment. Wait, no. I was trying to listen to our leech the other night in bed with a stethoscope. I couldn't find the heartbeat but I did manage to make him/her angry (I think) and got to listen to a kicking/punching fest right on the scope. That was pretty hilarious.

Miss anything: Packing being painless.

Food cravings: Still want a Chipotle (or preferably Qdoba) burrito. A lot. 

Anything making you queasy or sick? The smell of whiskey

Sex Guess: Considering that I feel movement most of the day most days but it's not hurting me yet, now I'm thinking maybe girl. 

Labor signs: Not really. We slowed down the braxton hicks contractions this week by adding a couple supplements and more water. As long as they don't get MORE frequent than 4-5 an hour when I'm moving around or 2-3 an hour when being lazy, my midwife thinks we're in the clear. I just have a uterus that likes exercise/practice apparently. But they're not even uncomfortable, much less painful, so for now we're not worried. 

Symptoms: Braxton hicks, gas, slight swelling, lots of hip/pelvis pain if I do too much.

Belly button in or out? Out. As long as I'm doing anything. It actually retreats back in when I lay down a bit. 

I do miss wearing my pretty rings, but that's why I have them on a necklace (for those infrequent days that I get out of my pjs and/or barn clothes!

Wedding rings on or off: Off, and on a necklace. Loving my silicone ring. These Qalo people are awesome. I feel less naked. I should still be able to use it post-pregnancy for when I'm doing mud runs or other things that just aren't diamond ring friendly. Ordered a lime green one for my husband this week, we'll take a picture when it comes in. 

Emotional state: Still wallowing a bit from all the moving chaos. Going to get worse before it gets better. Trying my best to get all the details taken care of and get horse sold ASAP, or at least find her a place to go up north and someone to lease/share her for me in the short term to help with costs.

Looking forward to: Seeing everyone for the shower in less than two weeks!

Also, this gif is my favorite. It's one thing to watch the uterus & baby grow, but the really really freaking part is watching the intestines just get squished to everywhere else. 

What do you find to be the creepiest part of pregnancy?!

Why I'm Freaking Out This Week

So it's been a pretty slow blogging/updating couple weeks for me for sure. I've only really managed to get the weekly updates in and I know the last one was rather cryptic. I was SO busy (in a typically great way) when Grace was here and since then I've been busy in a less great way and reeling with shock. 

My husband got a new job. Which should be very exciting, and maybe a year from now it will be, actually it almost definitely will be. Until then it's a shitstorm - mostly for me but somewhat for him too. The job is back home (kinda) in Chicagoland, so we're moving back in just a couple weeks. Actually, he's moving back on April 15th! We fly up together on the 15th due to our previously planned shower on the 16th. Then I come back down here on the 25th, finish packing like crazy by myself and he'll fly back down (with two friends) to help with the loading of the truck and to get the drive back accomplished. 

However, between the job being much closer to the city than I've ever lived plus the health insurance plan being ridiculously more expensive, and me moving at almost exactly 32 weeks along we're going to be completely unable to afford rent anywhere besides a studio apartment. Which is stupid to try to life in a such a fashion when we're used to being spread out in a 3 bedroom. We'd need a massive storage unit on top of paying rent for the studio. 

Luckily Eric will have a job and insurance starts almost immediately, but it's significantly more expensive plus a pretty high deductible. Unlike my current play where we essentially pay nothing, we will pretty much be liable for the entire delivery cost. 

We're trying to get my horse sold ASAP even though I'm heartbroken. If I can't sell her in the next 8 days, we'll have to schedule a truck and pay ~$1300 in transport to get her up north where we will then try to sell. I'll have to keep her at a stable more than an hour from our home in order to afford it and will have to drive out there several times a week if not daily to continue caring for her leg wound and keep her in shape while I'm getting her sold. 

I'm emptying out my 401K from a previous job and between selling horse and 401K it won't quite cover medical expenses plus all of the moving costs (truck rental and horse transport), and that's if I manage a vaginal delivery with no NICU time.

Because we can't afford anywhere to live, we'll be moving into my sister-in-law & brother-in-law's house with them. Which is a wonderful generous offer. Don't think I'm not grateful. We have somewhere to go, and this is a great thing. 

However...it will still be almost an hour commute to his job. We both have dogs and they both tend to bark at noises - especially mine when he hears other people that he can't see. With us mostly on one floor of the house and them on the other, I'm worried that Mr. Barley is going to be super-vigilant and confused by sounds. 

I'm also worried about being super hot. We're taking over the top floor of the house due to spacing and parking reasons, but I am running SUPER hot right now and she runs super super cold all the time. If we cool the upper floor to my new comfy temp to sleep, either she'll freeze, or we'll jack up the electric bill to 18 bajillion dollars (or more!), or maybe both at the same time. 

I'm worried that we will take over their entire lives and house. I'm very tired of being a burden on everyone else. I'm super afraid of conflict. Not because my in-laws aren't wonderful people - because they absolutely are - but because I am going to be going through the physically & emotionally roughest part of my life to date. I make a pretty terrible roommate at the best of times. Literally the only time I've had a roommate and the situation DIDN'T end terribly/stay full of fights, was the short period of time where my mom was my roommate. Now, that's not to say I don't do well living with my husband - I do well with living with a partner where we are trying to live the same life. It just falls apart when I try to coordinate overlapping lives and schedules into the same place - it's chaotic for me. So as far as just regular roommates, I've failed every time it wasn't my mom. That particular time happened to be one of the best in my life - I was planning my wedding, she was helping, I loved my job and had open access to a wonderful horse to ride and it was generally nice weather out so we were outside most of the time. Oh, and it was only for 5.5 months, and we knew the move out date before we started - there was an end goal and you could watch it get close.

Due to dumb insurance reasons and trying to exclusively breastfeed this baby until minimum 6 months old, plus not having a career that makes enough money to pay for childcare, it would be supremely unlikely that we'll be able to afford our own place for another year approximately. We need me to be able to figure out how to make a decent chunk of money or wait for my husband to get a raise/promotion. That's a long long long time. 

In fact, I just realized yesterday when I was trying to figure out how to pare down my wardrobe that I don't even know how. I need clothes for every season, for every type of occasion (not sure what kind of work I might find), and for every size and shape my body has ever been in because I don't know how fast my body will bounce back after this baby - if it's ever the same. Not sure if I will need my "skinny" summer clothes or my "fat" ones or maybe only the maternity ones - even considering that I deliver early July (in theory). 

That's a long long long time to depend on others. And a long long long time for me to try to be a good roommate, especially when I know I'm going to be in a really difficult place both in body and mind while trying to navigate the rest of this pregnancy and learn how to be the mom of a newborn as well. To me it sounds like taking on two very difficult full time jobs at the same time and expecting success. I'm very afraid that in doing this, we're setting ourselves (or at least me) up to fail. I am the hormonal one, I am the primary caregiver for this helpless being, I am the one with the history of depression, and I am the one that's going to feel like I'm imposing when my baby is waking up the whole household at all hours of the night. I had terrible colic as a baby and cried for the first 6 months of life straight - or so my mom and everyone else tells me. I don't want to be a terrible roommate. I will try my best. I just can't see a way that we won't accidentally take over their lives and home and turn it into a loud sleepless mess - all while I'm not helping the situation because I don't handle having to figure out how to share kitchen space & time well. Hell, I don't do well having to wear clothes inside my own home. Even that thought is icky.

Also, and this is a minor point, but I've always lived (before this move right here) in a pretty rural county. This job is much closer to the city and we're going to be living probably two counties closer to Chicago (maybe 3) than I ever have. Which will mean a much higher population density, a lack of surrounding fields and horse country, a significant increase in concrete and such around, and living much further away from my mom/aunts that I normally do (when I've lived in Illinois of course). Part of my largest complaint with being in Florida is always being surrounded by major roads with major intersections and highways and all of the freaking sprawl. I was hoping that if we went back north I could get back to my small town feel. Living in a town of 20,000 surrounded by a buffer zone of a few miles of corn & cows is much different than living in a town of 20,000 surrounded entirely by other towns that are surrounded entirely by other towns. It's just a different feel and one that makes me in general more nervous and less comfortable. It's just significantly more urban than I prefer. Oh, and that's not to even start on leaving the FREE ocean and FREE community pool here. I was super looking forward to spending the third trimester floating in a pool/ocean in order to keep the weight off my feet & back. Oh well. 

I am also leaving my birth center in FL, the one that I love with the midwives I love. There is one birth center in the entire state of Illinois. I am trying to contact them to see if I can get set up with them - but they're hard to get in touch with as well as it just honestly might be too late in pregnancy to fulfill all of their requirements to qualify for a birth center birth. We'll see, but I can't depend on it. There is one other hospital nearby that has an in hospital "alternative birthing center" but it only has two actual birth center-type rooms with real beds and tubs, and it's first come first serve. Considering that they are the preferred option for much of the entire Chicago & suburban area, I can't count on that being available, and if I didn't get the room I would end up in a sterile hospital room with a midwife/doc that I don't really know or even have much time to set up a relationship with once I arrive. The only OB/midwife I know in Illinois who I am therefore already comfortable with will be about 90 minutes from the house, as will the hospital for delivery. If I go into labor during the work day I sit at home for an hour by myself until DH can get home, then we have to drive 90 more min to get to the hospital - considering that an ambulance wouldn't take me to THAT hospital and a cab fare would probably run $100. . I know the midwife there will advocate for my desire to have a non- medicated and low intervention birth as much as possible, but she already warned me that it's going to be her & I against the rest of the staff trying to advocate for me. Sigh. And it'll cost me every dollar, awesome. I worry that with my hospital apprehension just being in the hospital will hurt my chances for mentally relaxing enough for my body to actually progress through labor and delivery appropriately. Going to try, but again, I feel like I'm purposely setting myself up with many obstacles to my own success. 

We definitely don't have the funds available for a doula, so while that would help me be about 18 bajillion (it's my favorite number of the week) times more confident in myself, it's just not really likely. I mean which is more important - crib & carseat or doula? Hard to say, but likely the car seat.

And ICK, why do hospitals require births that have zero complications to stick around for 2 days? No thank you. After the most draining event of my life, can't I lay on my own bed and/or couch? PLEASE?

With all of this stress and trying to get enough boxes (wow I miss the constant source of boxes that was bartending) to even get the house packed, I'm having trouble sleeping, I'm losing weight, and I've started to have braxton hicks contractions too often for my midwife to be comfortable. I've started a few supplements to help and more water - I'm trying. It's helping some, but still. In her words I now have an "irritable uterus." Lovely, something else to worry about. 

When we don't know for sure when we'll be able to move out, it's hard to see the light at the end of this very very very long tunnel. It's awful to think that one year ago we had these huge plans for our future and all sorts of ideas plus zero debt and a decent amount of savings. Now we have a decent chunk of debt and no real savings. It's just all very hard to stomach. 

So after all that Debbie Downer post, at least I'll mention I'm super excited to see friends and family in just over 8 days, and hoping the shower is super exciting, and I'll just keep crossing my fingers that some sort of entirely unbelievable unlikely miracle happens and we'll find our own 2 bedroom unit that we love in the right place at the right price (LOL! We'd need $500 more a month).

We are again, super grateful that we have somewhere to go, and we'll work as hard as we can to NOT be pains the ass. I really want this to work, but I'm also very afraid of it. 

So this is to timing - it sucks the fun out of everything.

Pregnancy Update 26 Weeks

Baby size/Important facts: Baby is about 2 lbs. Eyes are working on opening instead of being sealed shut. 

Size comparisons: Head of lettuce, work glove, or head of Thor's Hammer. 

Weight Change: Total gain of ~18 lbs, yeah I lost 2 lbs this week

Waist Change: 

• Week 10
• Waist: 29" 
• Bellybutton: 33.5" 
• Size gain this week alone:
• Waist: -.05" 
• Bellybutton: -.05" 
• Total gain: 
• Waist: 5"
• Bellybutton: 7.5"

Maternity clothes: Wondering if I can survive on 8 shirts and 4 pairs of shorts for the next 3 months while I continue sweating like mad.

Bra changes: Sports bra is getting a little tight at the bottom from belly, so now we're using it with 2 of 10 clasps undone, because I'm just not classy! It's still doing it's job though, so no real complaints.

Stretch marks: Wondering where they are hiding. Can you find any?

Sleep: I had a very stressful week - full update coming soon I hope. I am down to sleeping maybe 3-4 hours a night, tops.

Workouts: Lots and lots of walking, hoping to start up running again a little bit tomorrow. Fingers crossed that 2-3 weeks off hasn't completely grounded me for the rest of this pregnancy. I need to get back to yoga and strength days too, but that's not too likely the in the next two weeks - I'll probably be a bit too busy.Have been getting some riding in which is really some cardio, some strength, and some flexibility so all-in-all not awful.

Diet: Been a little too stressed to eat much at all, much less super healthy. Living off of pasta sides, grapes, and chocolate this week with a small side of italian ice. Good for us? Probably not, but it's better than not eating at all. 

Best moment this week: Probably having a great riding day on a freshly washed horse and getting her over a very short (2 fence) jump course when we haven't even tried jumping since October. Very pleased!

Miss anything: Squeezing past people in a crowded kitchen.

Food cravings: Green grapes and italian ice - preferably strawberry flavored. 

Anything making you queasy or sick? Anything thick or heavy.

Sex Guess: This week I have nothing. 

Labor signs: Not really, but now I'm having braxton hicks contractions most parts of most days. I should probably call the doctor and make sure that's normal.

Symptoms: Braxton hicks, gas, slight swelling, lots of hip/pelvis pain if I do too much.

Belly button in or out? Yeah, it's just out, I can't fool myself anymore.

Wedding rings on or off: Off, and on a necklace. Loving my silicone ring. These Qalo people are awesome. I feel less naked. I should still be able to use it post-pregnancy for when I'm doing mud runs or other things that just aren't diamond ring friendly. Trying to get my husband one, but we're waiting for a particular color of ladies ring to come out in his size - he doesn't like how wide the bands are for the men's rings.

Emotional state: I'm in a pretty not good place. We just found out that my husband has gotten a job (A GOOD ONE HOORAY), but we're going to have to move back to Illinois (YAY TO SEE PEOPLE). Unfortunately the move comes up  too soon and I have to switch doctors & insurance & go to a hospital (SEVERE BOO & OUCH $$$$$), plus we are going to need about a year of house sharing with friends & family in order to manage to figure out finances enough to live on our own. I'm very very very very nervous about the entire idea of entering into the physically & emotionally hardest 4-5 months of my life without my own private space to go home to. 

Looking forward to: Seeing everyone for the shower in less than two weeks!

Mr. Barley just loves to supervise the picture taking. In fact, he was too cute and had to join in. He did my yoga for me this week!