Steps for Changing A Poopy Cloth Diaper....

This post was inspired by being SUPER excited to install my new handheld bidet/diaper sprayer all by myself.

It occurred to me how much easier my cloth diapering journey had become, but I know how daunting the idea of dealing with poop and cloth diapers is - so I wanted to put together a handy-dandy summary for the uninitiated.

Step 1:

Listen to baby farts/grunting. 

Cringe. Actively. Hope that you had a good fold on that last diaper, because sometimes you just KNOW you didn't do a good job. Wonder if you have anymore diaper covers clean. Sigh, because you literally JUST threw in the load of diapers, so this one is going to sit for a while. All of this sighing and worrying is doubled/tripled if this happens out of the house.

Beware this face!

Step 2:

The sniff test.

'Nuff said, right? Hold baby up to your face and inhale deeply near their butt. With a mostly breastfed baby the smell isn't typically too bad yet. In fact before we started solids it was like buttered popcorn - no joke. Sometimes it still has a hint of that odor. Either way, unless it's a total gross bomb you smell a few times, and inevitably end up delicately peeking. Sigh again, yup.

Hope that there's a cute animal face to make you feel better about sniffing!

Step 3:

Wait 5 minutes.

Use this time to mentally gear up to this task. Maybe ponder where your hazmat gear is. Perhaps have some wine - whatever works for you. Everyone else thinks you are just procrastinating and putting off the inevitable, maybe regretting your diaper choices, but no. You are waiting to make sure the pooping is finished, because poops mid change totally ruin your groove.

Baby's hat and dumb face optional.

Step 4:

Prepare the area.

Soak down wipes. If you think you have enough, soak down at least 2 more. They're reusable cloth wipes for a reason - you're just going to wash them anyway. MORE WIPES! Lay down a spare diaper (not the one you intend to put on) on the changing pad, because now that he squirms BAD NEWS can happen if you haven't gotten him all wiped down when his legs escape. Open the diaper pail, set the lid on the floor next to it - all parts that are just dirty but not chunky go straight into pail. All parts that have chunks get to sit on lid to rinse before adding to pail. Roll up your sleeves. Add gloves and a gas mask if you have a weak stomach, or at pregnant. Have more wine.

The mobile still keeps him entertained sometimes!

Step 5:

Open and Initial shock

Pull off baby's pants (preferably socks too), and roll up shirt firmly to armpits, maybe higher. Gingerly open diaper. Make a disgusted shocked face. Hold feet firmly into baby's face and pray that they don't escape. SHOVE A TOY INTO THEIR HANDS. Any toy that isn't plush. RIGHT NOW! You can have wandering fingers in this mess. Wait, TAKE OFF THEIR SOCKS TOO - damn, you forgot. Place socks in diaper pail. Pull poopy diaper out ASAP before you get more poop on feet. This is why the spare diaper is down. Poopy diaper plus it's waterproof cover sits on pail lid. Use the entire pile of wipes you soaked down just to get the first layer off. Once there is no more visible poop on his butt or lower back, proceed.

I'm not posting pictures of poop. So you just imagine how this venison roast came out the other end for me, OK?

Imagine this in brown and all over the other end....it's like that.

Step 6: 

Secondary baby cleaning

Inevitably after the initial wash, there's more invisible poop. Not just in the crevices, although we know it's there too, but also a thin layer everywhere on the butt that you can't see unless you apply a clean white wipe to it. So after the first round, fold the diaper under them in half so there's clean underneath, and go through 1-2 more wipes, removing the crevice and invisible poop. Then you can finally let go of the feet for a little to catch your breath. Put toy back in hands about 5011 times. Get new diaper out in this break - while we're letting baby air-dry just a little.

This is the look of cold wet wipes EVERYWHERE!

Step 7:

Cover the blaster

After a quick dry and getting new diaper set up underneath the one you used for safety, we're ready. Throw the spare diaper into pail, get new diaper on. Secure it. Secure it again because baby kicked off halfway on. Secure it again because you realize you failed and testicles are hanging out. Secure it again because you folded it too small/big/awkward. Secure it a final time and give up. Put waterproof cover over it. Get out fresh socks. If you were successful with immediate cleaning, put same clothes back on...if not, strip baby by pulling gross shirts DOWN past butt, and redress. now put baby somewhere safe and contained. If all else fails, into the dry empty bathtub.

The cuter the diaper the better!

Good use of toy here, but too much plush around him for safety while dealing with poop!

Step 8:

Deal with fallout

Now it's time to be thankful for your plumbing skills and your husband agreeing that you can have a sprayer for your diapers/poop. Carry pail and the lid (with offending diaper on it) into bathroom. RAISE LID & SEAT!!!! Put pail touching bowl of toilet. Literally. you want no drippage here. Now if you're fancy, you have a super cool fancy shield but if not, that's cool. Just put diaper into toilet bowl. I do once piece at a time, but whatever works for you. Turn on the sprayer valve. Put on your safety glasses and drop cloths! Aim at the diaper and spray away all the POO!!!! Pretend it's ghost busters and you're trapping all sorts of ghouls. Marvel as you didn't really have to get your hands terribly gross. Sigh with joy this time as your fingernails are not full of poop you are maniacally trying to scrape off the absorbent loose weave cotton. Once the solids are off it's really just two more steps!

The lifesaving sprayer itself. 5 minute installation - saves me more than 5 minutes per poopy diaper.

Step 9: 

Transfer

Now you did have to get a little messy, but still, not poop-under-your-nails messy. You have to hand wring whatever you just rinsed. Wring into toilet, and quickly but delicately hot potato move them into the waiting pail to avoid drips. Flush the toilet here, and maybe do an initial rinse/wipe of hands. If you ended up with poo on the lid of the pail due to poor positioning of the poop vs waterproof cover, clean this now. I keep a vinegar spray bottle in the bathroom - but whatever works for you - windex, bleach, napalm, etc. Once that's good, put lid back on the pail, put pail away!!!! You've totally got this!

Step 10: 

Wash

Time to really wash your hands. Do it right, warm water, soap, maybe a degreaser if that's what you're into - we're not judging here. Get yourself some more wine - you survived. 

Can you ever feel clean again?

Oh, and remember to rescue the baby from whatever jail you stashed him in before demonstrating your skills with the sprayer.

Shame, Shame, Shame...

I'm tired of all the shaming going on in this world. ALL OF IT!

Ok, well, maybe not quite ALL but most.

I know that people are inherently judge-y of anyone and everyone. The upside of this being that mots people are more critical of themselves than anyone else, however that doesn't stop the ridiculous amount of judging aimed at parents lately.

That being said, I'm guilty as well. HOWEVER, I work very hard to at least keep the judgement of others quiet - between me, myself, and occasionally my mom or husband. We also always preface our statements with something to the affect of "there's more than one way to do anything," "this isn't for me, but hey, if it works for them," or "I don't really get it, but hey, it's their thing."

It's still judging, and I'm not saying it's really OK, but for me it's more of a way to verbally talk out foreign or confusing ideas or methods.

I certainly don't go around telling moms/dads/parents that they are doing things WRONG, or acting/stating that MY WAY is the best/only option out there.

It really irks me when that happens to me.

The aggravating part? Frequently it's extended family that's doing it. Which means I know they are speaking from a good place, but honestly if anyone is being dismissive or argumentative of your parenting techniques (as long as they aren't obviously harmful) then they're not being helpful or supportive.

No one should have to deal with being shamed for anything that isn't harmful.

I have no idea why other people are so INVESTED in my methods for introducing my son to solid foods or my methods for getting him to sleep.

I am the first person to say that I make mistakes, but so does everyone. Parenthood is a life-long journey of walking a fine line between crazy, happy, sad, and angry. Your methods are designed to work for YOU and YOUR household, and that is all that matters. Just because someone else had a child once and did this one thing doesn't mean that it will work for you. Each child is different, as is each parent. Everyone has different personal limits for things and different strengths and weaknesses. It's ridiculous to assume there is one right answer for any parenting issue.

In fact, I'm so frustrated (and overtired today too) that this spawned a spin-off post - all about sleep. So go HERE to read it. Now I'm going back to my irritation at parent shaming.

Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that he will eventually sleep.

Other than trying to PROVE that you are a better parent than someone, what could the point be of telling someone else they're wrong? Again, I'm not speaking about the cases where something legitimately harmful is happening. Not putting your baby in a car seat, giving them weapons to play with, putting plastic bags on their faces, etc.

For some people, disposable diapers are really the best option - it's what they know and all they have time for, super easy, and they definitely touch less poop. Other people swear by cloth. They're cute, cozy, and save money. Breastfeeding works for some families, and it's great for mom & baby health - plus generally being cheaper and has a lot less bottle washing! Other families depend on formula - either there's no time for mom to breastfeed, she doesn't make enough, or maybe even baby prefers bottles. Some babies have so many food intolerances that formula makes it so much easier for mom to eat! Some families cosleep, some have babies in their own crib in their own room just days after birth. Great! The important part really should be doing what works for each family the best. I can't say that having baby in another room is good....for me, but if it works for you to get you all the most/best sleep you can, then I think you're doing GREAT!

Sometimes you manage your cranky evenings by wearing rainbow unicorn headbands and having a dance party on daddy's shoulders! That's OK too!

New moms, old moms, first time moms, veteran moms, plus all the dads/co-parents...being a mom/parent ISN'T easy. That being said most of the difficulties (especially with diapering/pacifiers/feeding/sleeping) WILL pass as baby grows up. Or at least change to different sorts of difficulties - hormones anyone? So you do you. This should be the motto of motherhood. You do you. 

Most importantly, remember that just because some technique, schedule, method, or other trick of the trade worked for any one kid doesn't mean it will work for any other kid on the planet. I've been assured by (and witnessed this many times) that even two kids growing up in the same household, even twins born at the same time, are two SEPARATE people and may or may not respond the same way to the same plan. 

I've given up most of my plans, I've given up setting a schedule, I just do my best to go with the flow. As of yet, I've not had more than maybe 4 or 5 days in a row of completely unsustainable awfulness with Legan. So I just grit my teeth and get through. It doesn't mean that the days after are AWESOME WITH UNICORNS, RAINBOWS, AND MAGIC FAIRY DUST. But it does mean that we've both adjusted to a new normal and managed to make it work well enough for us.

Drama baby gives up on people that shame his mom.

By all means, give advice. But to any parent that says "thanks but no thanks," "didn't work for us," or just "nope" please accept that. So someone is doing something different. So what? 

My kid's cloth diapered ass certainly doesn't prove I'm any better or worse of a parent than you. Nor does his love of tilapia or hatred of chocolate pudding. He's awesome in his own way, and I'm doing the best I can. 

Anyone who can't accept someone else's parenting methods is likely a POOPCUP, or someone whose time spent with their own little angels (aka tiny assholes) was so many years ago that their sleep deprived brain doesn't clearly remember. 

Look up the POOPCUP thing, it's hilarious, and stop judging and shaming everyone. If you manage to mostly get diapers changed timely, get kids fed, have them sleep as much as you/they can, and love them - you're doing it right. Nuff said.

This dino boy is trying to flip off the camera

This happy baby knows that his mom does the best she can - so stop telling her how to be "better!"

Sleep is Such A Luxury

This came about because I was trying to blog about people mom-shaming me when it comes to me venting about Legan sleeping (or mostly not).

Then I realized that this is it's own rant. 

Falling asleep in his favorite place - latched on with boob in his hands too! 

A: Let's be honest - babies just generally AREN'T great sleepers.

B: Trust me, by the time I'm venting on Facebook about it I have tried EVERYTHING I can think of. Plus read about 1000 articles and talked to 10 bajillion people. 

C: Once I'm mentioning how badly he's sleeping keep in mind that that very fact means that I haven't been sleeping well. Ok, so I'm tired, cranky, have a cranky baby, and not enough patience to give you a fully supported well worded rebuttal of why exactly whichever method didn't work for us. Stop expecting a fully rational 2000 word report on my techniques - just accept that I tried everything I could and it didn't work.

There is not one method that works every time for this boy. If he eats the wrong food at the wrong time or if the wrong noise happens at just the right time - nap is skipped. If we are 2 minutes early or 10 minutes late for nap time, it fails. Nap time is also a totally subjective time, affected by the last time we peed, pooped, ate, how well he slept/didn't in the previous 48 hours, how many layers of clothes he has on, whether the boob is the perfect amount of full on the side he currently wants, when he was last in the car, how exciting dad and the dog are, and whether Mars is in the 5th house of Juno...or something. In other words, it's a total crapshoot. I read that some kids have a great eating and sleeping schedule from 5 weeks on. ROCK ON YOU GUYS! That's awesome for you. However, I don't have anything resembling an easy time anticipating how much food or sleep I want/need/get at any given time as an adult. I don't expect him to be perfect at this yet. I DO expect he'll get better when he's growing and changing slower - so he can adapt to things either. Right now, we can't keep straight how long he can stand to be awake or asleep - it changes every week or two - so we roll with the punches as well as we can. This week a surprise thunderstorm seemed to stop all the little boys in the area from sleeping at night, even those that generally sleep pretty well. So that just is.

Look, he fell asleep finally! In a terrible location and 5 minutes before we needed to leave on a 90 minute car ride. He usually sleeps in the car great though! Not this day. He took about an hour to fall back asleep after the transfer. Of course.

Stop judging me and assuming that I'm not doing my best or haven't really tried your methods for sleep. Stop telling me I'm doing it wrong, or getting mad when I say that I already tried your advice but it didn't work. ESPECIALLY if you only had one kid, or all of your kids were born years and years ago. Please keep in mind that my baby and me are not you and your baby. Unfortunately Legan has at least SOME of my genes (I swear, there's just not manifesting physically!), and I was always a bad sleeper. 

That all being said, yes, I know he will get better. We go through cycles. We usually have one decent sleep week, and then 2-3 bad weeks in a row. 

It's 6 am and I shouldn't be up for another 2 hours mom, but I am slapping you in the face while headbutting you in the chin and stomping on your bladder and c-section incision. Good MORNING!

I handle the bad weeks best when I stop putting any expectations on his sleep. When I just accept that it's going to be terrible. I need to be pessimistic about his sleep - because then when he unexpectedly DOES get some good hours in, I'm ecstatic. If I go in optimistic (after 2 days of nice long naps I got totally over confident and started EXPECTING good things), and it all blows up in my face (skipped 2 out of 3 naps yesterday, and 3 nights in a row has been up 4-6 times sometimes for more than an hour) I feel totally cheated, betrayed, and honestly pissed off. Now, if I wake up on a day, and just say "Well, here's my boy and I know he's going to nap and sleep like crap," and he does, then I'm just quietly resigned and chill about it. Not happy, but accepting. I do a really terrible job of accepting awfulness when I expect decency, so it's in my best interests to just assume he's going to be terrible at sleeping all the time. That keeps my blood pressure down.

I've read up on so-called sleep training. What makes me laugh though is it takes parents of stubborn babies roughly 1-2 weeks to get it down. Then they RAVE about their success for 2 ish weeks. Then anytime baby hits a milestone or a life change (change in weather, learns a new skill, goes through a growth spurt, gets a tooth, there's a holiday, takes a vacation, has a routine change, etc) they have to start over and it takes another week or two to get back on track. HA! Well with my life that would be basically continuously being in sleep training mode. Nope, I'll just nurse him to sleep and accept that I'm getting up shortly, thanks. Again, with just expecting it to suck just makes everything simpler for me. 

Pretty sure I started sleeping OK at night when I was about 3. So 2.5 years to go!

This is a really happy baby after a totally unexpected 3 hour nap!

Legan looking like he murdered someone with all the blackberry juice everywhere!

I forgot to include this with the Christmas update. One scary "decoration"

AND.....

Little man is ALMOST crawling. 

7 Months and Into 2017

Wow, where did that time go?!

Legan update!

WOW!

His hands are always going going going!

He's convinced he can crawl away from this madness!

Weight: 19.5 lbs 

Length: 27"

Head: 19"

Percentiles: 87%, 68%, and 100+% in that order.

New Skills: Drinking from a straw, sitting up MOSTLY by himself - even though he can't get there by himself, scooting backwards on the floor. Putting smaller pieces of food in his mouth, on the first try.

Likes: Playing with faces with his hands, going anywhere, smiling and talking to people, blowing bubbles, taking off his socks, bouncing!

Dislikes: The snot suckers, and being unable to chase the dog. 

Tummy problems: We haven't increased our Zantac in a long time now, but his weight has stabilized too. He's been doing OK with his new diet of some solids. He hasn't had issues laying down. He's gotten a little more prone to spitting up, but I haven't been 100% dairy free - just very very very low dairy. He hasn't been super uncomfortable in at least a month though!

Eating progress: He now gets two meals of real food every day. We do eggs, steamed broccoli or carrots, peeled apples, various berries/oranges in a mesh feeder, potatoes, fish, tiny bits of venison (small enough to not need chewing - like smaller than a grain of rice), rice, noodles, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes. Mostly fruit and veg, but working on some protein now. 

Sleeping: Yeah, pretty much the same as last month. Goes back and forth. We'll have a week of OK - up only once or twice in 12 hours overnight, with maybe 1 75 minute nap, and 2 short ones. Then we have a week or two of terrible - up 4-5 times overnight (every 1-3 hours) with 4 or 5 15-25 minute naps during the day. There's not much I can do about it, other than cry. On the bad days he gets totally overtired and can't sleep and won't let me put him down either...

Clothing sizes: Mostly 9 month and some 12s, the pants all need to be slightly bigger to adjust for his large cloth diaper butt.

Other new updates: Still no teeth, but sometimes he's chewing like he expects them. 

First thing in the morning happy baby!

Frequently now we need a friend to hold while me eat!

 Mommy Update!

I decided not to post new pictures of me this month as physically nothing has changed and we just started at a gym.

STILL waiting on my insurance card. SO FRUSTRATED with the State of Illinois, but totally not willing to spend hours on hold on their phone system. So irked. So pretty much nothing has changed.

I try to do my at home workout once or twice a week. Check it out here!

UPDATE: we were gifted a membership to a local rec center with fitness classes, exercise equipment, a pool, AND free childcare - so we're working on getting there at least twice a week, and I am figuring out what exactly I can and can't do. 

Physical stuff: Still having super sensitive skin anywhere near incision. It's probably nerve damage and I shouldn't expect it to improve in less than 3-5 years. That is how long my nerve damage from Lasik took. I definitely have tightness and scar tissue deep in the incision. That probably won't change much either. The looseness in my pelvis that causes problems with running/riding/stairs/yoga hasn't improved now in 4 ish months - so that's going to be what limits me the most in trying to get back in even some sort of shape. 

I'll do my best to put together an entire post of what exercises do/don't work.

Emotionally: Pretty much nothing has changed on this front. I got up on my horse again, and then had a rough patch where my husband was sick just before and over Christmas Eve and Legan was clingy plus I had a million errands to do so I couldn't put him down for days. I limped around for 2-4 days after that. It's just so disheartening. I keep having friends/family try to reassure me that it just takes time for your abs to heal up after babies...but while I can handle the fact that due to my c-section my tummy (and it's skin) will NEVER be the same again and will probably always be weaker than it was when I was young & fit, and it will probably always be a little tight/sore....none of that comes anywhere near the amount of disability and pain I have from my pelvic issues. No, I don't have incontinence issues, and for that I'm glad, but stairs that are too tall are a problem, I can't ride or run without HUGE debilitating pain. I tried to use the assisted pull up machine and I can't get on it by myself because I can't step up more than an average stair height - or it's excruciating. So people were staring at me at the gym and telling me "No, it's really easy to get up there." even when I tried to show them how high I can lift my foot. I have an invisible injury that no one takes seriously/believes because it's so ridiculous and it's unheard of. 

It's very very very mentally and emotionally harmful for me to hear that "things just get better with time" and "childbirth is hard on everyone" when I am having significantly more than the average issues and no one has been able to help me. I haven't healed up more since Legan was 3 months old. So.........I lost my previous body and life? 

I get asked when I'm thinking about taking up running, riding, and rock climbing again. Ha. When? What about if? I can't even do yoga, as there are only about 3 poses I know that don't involve weight bearing with my knees more than a foot apart. 

So.....I take pictures and videos of Legan. Because this is the best I can do, and it's most of the only things I can do.

I try to work a few shifts, and I physically pay for it and can't sleep due to pain for 2-3 days.

I can't find much time to write or color yet as Legan only gives me 15 minute segments to myself and I normally have to use them to eat, poop, laundry, or let out my housemates' puppy.

So...cute baby!

Me, hubby, and Barley cuddle for warmth while Legan naps during a polar vortex!

While Eric was sick he did what he could to entertain Legan without touching him. So he gave him the dog bone. Barley was not amused.

Passed OUT!

The final Christmas outfit pic I took. Love the santa feet, and going to miss that hat!

Happy baby sitting in the corner so I can brush my teeth in the morning!

All baby/kids hoods should have animal ears attached, amiright?

The day the blackberries were massacred. It was great fun.

Little man loves playing with his tongue lately!

There's a sound effect that goes along with this. It's like "oooooooo"

First time he noticed the blocks!

So listen guys, I'm gonna make a break for it...

And rolled away!

This is how we keep the star happy between shoots...

Awkward bright selfie!

His worst angle and me looking like a demon. Very attractive of us.

Christmas morning with GiGi. "Holy cow guys, this thing is going to put my eye out!"

Family Christmas selfie, Legan with his new favorite necklace of mine.

And I really couldn't get enough of the creepy juice splattered baby....looks like he was just eating animals raw and he's ready to move on to bigger game, like the one behind the camera!