Don't Quit on a Bad Day

I received this great piece of advice while I was struggling to figure out breastfeeding.

Never quit on a bad day.

So much sass!

So glad we didn't quit nursing on one of our bad days!

We did have Legan quit juggling lessons, turns out he's too young :)

Which isn't to say never quit, because honestly everyone has a point of when even healthful things aren't working for you anymore due to stress. Breastfeeding is no different. If it's making you (and baby) really unhappy constantly, then you need to figure out what you can change. If switching to (or supplementing with) formula is what you can do to make your feeding relationship better, then DO IT.

But I really liked this statement. It's way better than "never quit" because a lot of things need quitting. Some of them obvious bad habits, some of them are things that you have outgrown or don't need anymore, and some are really good habits that unfortunately just aren't working for you.

However, that doesn't mean every time you hit a bad patch or rough spot you should quit. Then you'd never accomplish anything difficult. So I like the philosophy. Wait until you're in a better mental place, and reevaluate. Of course if it's been days/weeks of bad, then you can't really keep "waiting" for the perfect time to evaluate, but be smart about it. Don't decide to quit breastfeeding in the middle of a screaming match where you've been bit, you're bleeding/bruised and you and baby are both overtired. At least wait until you can hand baby to daddy (or other support person), and take 20 min to yourself to shower and/or eat ice cream - maybe both. Get as calm as you can in your current life situation and then try to reason out your rational reasons for wanting to quit.

Some top tips here:

• Don't discount mental/emotional anguish as a legitimate reason to stop something. That is a valid reason to get out of a situation/activity.
• Try to stick out the activity if you have a limited time obligation and you're over half done
• AKA you signed up for a 12 week dance class and you're at week 7 or 8. Quitting now (unless there's a serious injury or emergency situation) seems silly!
• Financial obligations matter as well! I'm more likely to stick with something I've paid for, to a point. That's OK!
• Don't ever overschedule yourself. If you think you have, give it 4 weeks to try to sink into a pattern that works. If at 4 weeks you're not positive it's working, give it another 2 or 3 weeks. 
• Sometimes you have to quit something you love because it's not making your life better
• If you injure yourself or there's some sort of immediate danger (literally cannot eat/sleep even a minimum safe amount due to some activity/hobby/etc), quit immediately, whether it's a good or bad day
• In example: I ruptured my plantar fascia a couple of years ago. I quit running immediately!
• If you need to stop something you love, see if you can find a replacement
• This advice works for relationships as well!
• Don't leave your partner on a bad day/during/because of a big fight. Wait until you've both had time to cool off and think things through. If you are still thinking it needs to end when you're at your best, then OK. If you only want to end things when you're at your worst, then there's something else likely going on.
• Talk through any major "quitting" with someone you trust, who's preferably uninvolved. No one in your life whether they are friend, family, or partner is truly "un-biased" but be smart with whose advice you are giving the most weight to.

Maybe I should quit my one soda a day habit now that Legan is emulating...

Overall, the biggest important thing I can say is to not feel guilty quitting things you need to quit, but don't quit anything on a whim, especially something important to you.

I've quit a lot of things in the last year, but most of them I've really needed to. I'm working at refilling my days with new things. It's a long slow work in progress, but that's OK, life's about the journey.

Have you ever quit something on a bad day and regretted it later?

Had to quit laundry...for the moment.

Asleep in a pack and play, hooray! 

Happy Easter!

Hunger vs Diet

So I've spent the last maybe 4-5 months working on getting rid of some extra weight from baby. The rough delivery and subsequent pain I've been dealing with packed on a little extra weight after he was born and I had a hell of a time getting it off.

You see, when you're breastfeeding you can't necessarily cut calories to the point I normally would to lose weight. At the same time, I couldn't get enough exercise in to burn calories the way I wanted with my mess of a pelvic structure.

So some weeks were OK, some were awful. I did my best to make it about become strong, rather than watching the numbers on the scale.

Some weeks, I eat macaroni and cheese a lot. Like for lunch 3 out of 5 days. But it's organic, so that helps, right?!

Now, I do weigh myself every week, but I try not to let those numbers affect a whole lot. For many reasons. First of all, muscle weighs more than fat, so as I gain strength my weight can go up! Also, weight fluctuates as your hydration changes, as you eat bigger and smaller meals, as you sleep better or worse. It varies with when you last POOPED, and it changes with your hormone levels. For instance, I've been getting my period for 5 months now since baby arrived. The week it's due I go up 1-3 lbs, no matter what. I could eat just salad and it would raise. So I don't fight it. I record the numbers and pretend like it never happened, because there's nothing I can do. It's probably a combination of water and bloating weight. The following week I drop a few pounds, so I just focus on my waistline and how I feel.

I started with just taking long walks and cutting back my second dinner (oh yes, second dinner was totally a thing while breastfeeding for a while). I switched out to only having a small bowl of cereal, to only having an apple and/or orange. I did my best to get at least 5000 steps a day on BAD days (no sleep, raining, freezing, cranky baby), and 10,000 steps on good days when Legan and I are out and about. I seriously LOVE my FitBit - it really lets me know when I'm being lazy and when I'm doing a decent job staying active. Somedays I'm surprised at the number - so while I know how much energy I'm expending to function, I have to remember that how it feels is not always a good picture of how much I'm getting done. On tired days even a little walking around feels like a ton.

Sometimes just watching his sass and laughing is enough workout for me!

That all being said, when I had more active days, such as a "hike" with the family, a much longer walk, a day at the barn, or when I started hitting up the gym regularly, I have been in a position where I just feel "empty." It feels like my stomach is a bottomless pit and there's nothing I can do to feel full.

Now, I work really hard at not overindulging, but it's also a personal motto of mine to listen to my body. On those days, I eat dinner, I keep it to a relatively normal amount. I wait 25-30 minutes. If I'm still feeling starving, I eat an apple and 2 oranges (mandarin size). If I'm still really hungry 20 minutes after that, I have another serving of something, because I know I've given my head time to stop lying to me.

Easter season is dangerous for me, because these are my ALL TIME FAVORITE CANDY EVER!

I remind myself that I am nourishing another being, and I am active, and I am sometimes not sleeping more than 2-3 hours a night - which not only makes me less efficient at everything but also burns more calories to stay awake.

I also make sure that if I am adding in extra meals at the end of the day that I do so with healthy choices. I'm not pigging out on chips, cake, ice cream, pizza, etc super late in the day.

On bad days, I do a ramen noodle packet with an egg dropped in it at like 9 pm - the protein makes me feel full, the salt helps hold more water in my system - helping me to feel more satisfied - and the carbs are just comfort food.

On better days I just have a small portion of our stir fry we had for dinner (like we do most days). That's full of vegetables and just a little oil to help cover my needs.

Fridge with leftovers and fruit and veg!

Hooray asparagus!

There's a difference between feeding your body's cues and stuffing your face with all of the things you can find.

It's a balancing act, but I try.

The nice thing is, the more I exercise, the more extra calories I can eat - the more I can indulge in luxury food items like chocolate or ice cream.

When in doubt - go swimming or even just walk laps in a pool. It really burns calories, and babies just LOVE water (at least mine does).

My water baby!

I finally fit into a few of my pre-pregnancy skorts and such that are fitted and not just made of stretchy yoga material - so it's all obviously working. Hooray for getting my cardio in and keeping my food intake from taking over!

High 5 for Dad!

Not listening to his culinary or dietary advice yet. He likes washcloths and syringes...

Mostly, hooray for Spring and walking outside, because that truly helps me the most, because I've found that being in an okay place emotionally is the most important step to actually losing fat and getting your strength up. Even if you have to fake it until you make it, I really only see a lot of change once my heart and brain are in a good place.

Remember, brush your teeth after dinner! It will help keep you from eating too much before bed. Or, if you're me, you'll just brush them again. 

Double Digits, 10 months!

Oh my, here he goes!

Legan update!

Whoa!

Weight: ~21.25 lbs

Length: 28.25"

Head: 19"

Percentiles: 86%, 55%, and 100+% in that order.

New Skills: Crawling on hands and knees, pulling himself up on furniture (or moms), getting back to sitting from crawling, hitting "High 5," and causing mayhem. 

The progression!

Likes: Big boy baths, swimming, naked buns on the floor int he middle of a diaper change, playing with dogs, and attacking Warren, lovingly.

Pulling himself up. Check out those BUNS!

How he loves baths. 

Showing off his under layer of nighttime diaper, and his flexibility

Dislikes: When his tray gets too low on food to fling, when he can't get your drink, diaper changes in the nursery, anytime you take him away/take away a thing he's not allowed to have.

Tummy problems: Seemingly gone, yay!

Eating progress: Has now eaten corned beef, lasagna, and pizza. He seems to have no favorites - just all of the things. When he's away from mommy he seems to do OK filling up on real food instead of nursing or bottles. That's...OK enough at this age because it's so infrequent.

Legan's first pizza

Breakfast selfie

He likes to leave food hanging out of his mouth sometimes...ok, most days.

Sleeping: Another upswing, kinda for a little while. Back to only up 2 (sometimes 3 times per night. So that's a plus. Now his naps are sometimes not as good, but still sometimes great. I think he's physically tiring himself out more. Sometimes he does still get too excited to sleep or for his second nap. So those days are..interesting. Then teething restarted, so back to crappy sleep all the time!

Clothing sizes: Same! Still fitting into some 9 month and filling in the rest with 12 months. 

Other new updates: Two teeth firmly in, 1 just poking through and has 3 more on the way, the front 4 up top. They look so ouchy right now, hoping they make it out fast. Probably cutting the next one in the next day or 2.

He also got to really meet Mystique for the first time. Loved it and her.

Playing with laundry baskets is pretty awesome.

 Mommy Update!

I've given up on getting to a doctor. I'll just cope with what hasn't fixed itself yet. Pretty sure I know what they would say, and I'm finally making solid progress.

I'm now fitting back into more of my pre-pregnancy clothes. Which is nice, because my expensive stuff is just that, and it's my favorite. I did get rid of a couple of pairs of pants, and once I get the rest of my wardrobe back (it's in storage elsewhere from our previous move) I'll probably have to purge maybe 2-4 more things, but that's not so bad, and I don't love any of it. 

Still getting to gym 2-3 times per week. Doing elliptical work, a couple minutes on treadmill (jogging lightly, see this post), and some ladder machine work, plus 15 minutes working on arms with weight machines. Then I do a little ab work (like 2 min) and test out the pull up machine. Long walks on other days (when it's not raining at least). The FitBit is still huge, I want to post about that soon - how awesome it is and how much it helps. I think I have like 3 product reviews coming. 

Physical stuff: Slowly improving. I still stay away from any leg exercises that involve resistance and only 1 leg at a time. Starting to try out a little tiny bit of yoga, a little tiny bit of horseback riding.

Emotionally: Still a rollercoaster. It seems like the better of a week I have with the two babies on Wednesday the better my outlook is. Of course, that's also strongly affected by sleep, and how the house hunting is going. 

I did one week where I did all of the cooking, because I'm trying to practice for Eric potentially having a longer trip home. I'd like to handle most of the dinners during the week. Some weeks that happens. Some it doesn't. I'm also now ready to start be available for helping friends and such when they need it. Legan's gotten pretty good at travel. Granted, as he gets more mobile that may change, but we'll see. 

MORE PHOTOS! 

He can't reach them!

Coming to get me!

Getting the camera

Cute selfie finally

Can't stand blocks to stay stacked

Got 'em!

Gonna get them again!

Mesmerized instead of smiling.

Gonna get the rings

Got his teething keys

Finally a smile! 

Mini foal! Just cute.

Our plucky jade plant. This is the smaller of the two.

And Eric wonders why Barley is sometimes not sure how to handle him...

Playing with his new activity table

Channeling his inner fierce lion!

Barley is now trying to hide from the baby. So I made him a fort.

Kneeling at his table

My boys...there's a lot of love here.

First pull to his feet, using me, all to get to the Dr. Pepper.

So proud of himself!

There are no real words....

He had to taste his gate.

Waiting for Daddy to come home!