Naps, and Big Boy Beds, and Rocking Chairs OH MY! Part 1

Part 1: Writing this at the very beginning of the transition. 

So...my toddler has pretty much stopped napping. This ISN'T working for me, but I don't really have a choice. He's turned the whole getting ready for nap into such a fight that I know why he isn't settling down to sleep, I get it. He does still need it, but obviously we have to change our tactics. 

He's been sleeping in a crib still, with our rocking chair and a twin size racecar bed already in his room. The routine has been change diaper, books in racecar bed, then milkies (nursing) in rocker, then hugs and going into crib. Turn on mobile, hold his hand for about 15 seconds and tell him goodnight.

Well he might have my anxiety, because from the minute he realizes that a transition is going to happen, he locks into protesting it. A lot of toddlers do well when you warn them that things are going to happen. Nope, not this one. As soon as he knows he's going to have to stop what he's doing, he loses it. So now we start the diaper change and he's a total hot mess.

In the midst of all of the intermediate transitions (bed to chair, chair to crib) he implements OHMYGOD-STALL-LIKE-IT'S-GOING-TO-KILL-YOU mode. So yes he wants kisses, no he doesn't, yes he does, etc etc etc. It's awful. 

So step one is taking the chair out of the room. Nursing happens in the racecar bed, then there's no "one more" anything, there's no rocking with mom, etc. There is a single hug and kiss and into bed. And when it's naptime I'm giving him a couple of books and telling him he needs to have quiet time. No screaming or he loses his books, or blankets, etc. I'll let him know when it's time to come out. Considering getting one of those fancy clocks that glows a different color when it's OK to get up. Because an hour of fighting just isn't working. And I hate yelling at him.

Maybe once he realizes we're done fighting, he'll be willing to lay down and nap? I doubt it, but if I can get him to stay in his room for 90 minutes by himself, I might hold onto my sanity. 

Next step: Milkies and then just hugs and kisses in the racecar bed. 

But first, we need to get dresser secured to the wall, just in case. And a doorknob cover, just in case. Because I'm not going to have him roaming the house. Oh hell no. 

My new desk most of the time. Sitting on the floor so I can stretch, and keep computer plugged in.

Said big boy race car bed in question

So much Jade love

So much happiness she can't sit still

Talking to his baby

Now they're communing

Empty crib??

Small Changes

Small changes I've been making to help with getting fitter.

BRIDGES while Spock watches. I took a break from TV to do these

Squats
Squats with baby. Wear baby and do a little picking up around the house, so you can't bend over, you have to squat.

Reduce the size of meals
While breastfeeding (especially 2!) and exercising it's important to eat good food, and it's got to have staying power. Salads alone won't do it, and will get your body into starvation mode where it holds onto every calorie it can, plus you'll just be hungry all the time which makes it hard to eat good fuel food. So just start by eating good stuff. Eat that prime rib! Just don't gorge on it. It's great if you can afford to eat nice and slow, but that's not necessarily easy or possible with two little kids, so just start with smaller amounts on your plate. Especially if you know that you generally get to finish the toddler's plate. I just start with only filling up about half the plate. Then I make a point to make sure I've finished Legan's stuff and waiting 20 minutes before getting more. At that point, I try to just eat any sweets or dessert that I want at that point. Again though, just pick a nice reasonable size portion. A row of chocolate from the candy bar. Or a small piece of cake/pie/etc. Or, get more potatoes or steak instead of dessert. That's ok too. And if still hungry 10-15 after that, I'll do an apple with some almonds. The carbs plus protein is very effective.

Snacking
In between meals if I'm hungry I try 2-3 almonds plus some good fruit/veggies. Or peanut butter instead of the almonds, or what have you. Even a small portion of yogurt for protein. And if I know that I've really had enough serious food for the day, snack on some cucumber or apples or carrots. Hooray for Aldi making our produce a bit more affordable.

Look how awesome I am, I left some Ritz in the package during my snack

Stairs
Even if I'm not leaving home, I can do stairs. I just don't make a point to move stuff in large loads when I'm going up or down. There's always something that needs to go up or down, so I only take a small handful at a time.

Liquid calories
I need caffeine lately. But, not empty calories, so I have to balance it. 1 soda per day. If I need more caffeine, then I can have coffee with a tiny tiny splash of creamer. Or I can skip the soda and start with coffee, so later I have extra liquid calories to play with in the form of juice or alcohol. Not that I advocate a ton of drinking, but sometimes you need wine. So I try to do wine on days I don't have soda. OR....I try to charge myself with step counts. 10,000 steps on my FitBit per day as my normal goal, but if I get an extra 5000 steps then I can afford more silly calories, like those in wine or whiskey or sugary Mike's Hard Lemonade. One day per week I don't worry about drinks and steps. Because too many eating rules all the time makes like hard.

"Splurge" days
But no the way some people do it. I don't count calories in general, so on my extra calorie days I'm not just "ignoring" or pretending it doesn't matter how much I eat/drink. I just make a point to not be super strict with my eating ever, and to have one day where I just basically eat and drink without worrying extra about it, but not truly bingeing on either.

Strength and/or Yoga 
Daily!!!! Now, not every day is easy. Bad days with no or rough toddler naps or silly baby means only 5 minutes. Better days, where kiddos go down for bed and dishes are quick and laundry mountain is small - more like 30-45 minutes during nap or after they're in bed. Just do some everyday so it's accepted. Some days can be more like gentle stretches plus the bridges I HAVE to do to get my abs slowly stitched back together. Some days it's much more intensive with some arm balances, lots of downward dog, and warrior poses. Some days it's more like calisthenics from grade school plus squats and basic arm exercises. Hint: wear exercise quality clothing everyday, so you are just ready to go. Bigger hint: stash a resistance band behind/next to the couch. So you can whip it out and do 3 sets of 10 of 3-4 exercises really fast. Hoping to get a couple sample 5-15 minute routines written down. When I'm not busy doing them of course. 

Not that any or all of these tips are for everyone or every circumstance.

BUT, I've managed to slowly lose 7 lbs in the last two and a half months. Which suits me because I know that slow loss is sustainable. And I have a bridesmaid dress to wear in just under 4 months. So I want to at least do it justice.

Picked up and vacuumed the house. Hooray for making my house feel nicer AND burning calories at the same time. Get more fit by wearing baby while doing it. 

Learning to do sit ups early! 

He's thinking his butt just doesn't fit in here well.

Looking pudgey? Nah, just can't get her arms down while she's bundled for mom shoveling

Getting her jump on

Practicing cobra pose!

I just think this is exciting. Because everything in moderation, and that means a little bit of whipped "cream" even for those who are dairy free.

Just an average day with kiddos playing trains...Legan topless, Jade threatening to eat trains, and a huge bottle of vokda in the back. Ya know, classy.

Balance Growth With Rest

I know I've talked about this before, but a lot bears repeating and with the life changes for me, I've got to adjust again.

Resting. Yay couch!

I'm still looking at roughly 15 lbs to lose. I say roughly because the final number isn't my goal. It's about losing the extra fat around my middle and gaining muscle. Not that I'm going to look like a body builder, lol, or that I need to achieve a certain size or anything. But I don't feel as healthy or capable right now, and there's too much jiggle for my comfort.

I also know that my body is amazing and did another amazing thing and birthed this wonderful girl. So I want to set realistic goals. And because my body has changed, I'm not 100% sure how to set those goals. And that's OK!

So I want to "lose" some fat and weight. So my tentative goal is another 5 lbs down and then reevaluate. Because I *think* I need to be down another size or two, but with my new belly flap it's hard to say.

But, to be and stay mentally and phsyically well I also need down time. Even if it's not a whole lot. But a few minutes without kids crying or screaming and not having to do chores everyday means a lot.

But I don't want to pull it out of sleeping time, because I have a 4 month old, so sleeping time is precious.

And obviously I *can* do some workout time with kiddos, but I can't always count on that.

And I can't really let dishes or laundry get totally out of hand. The house doesn't have to be perfectly cleaned or picked up all the time, but I cannot run out of clean diapers or dishes. And those things get really really awful to deal with when they get out of control. So...nope.

I do some squats while holding Jade. I need to do a few more.

I am finding a way to get to just one mommy and me yoga class for free this week, so hopefully I can get some more ideas on how to do some yoga with my girl.

Legan will probably join in, which I love, and so maybe I can make a better effort to do some play workout with the two of them once per week, and maybe one day of workout alone, and another day of total family workout.

I'm not doing any running with Jade until she's 6 months old per recommendations. So we'll see. But I have to set temporary goals at least. I'd really love to build more strength.

But I can't schedule every minute of every day nor can I guilt myself for missing. Because job #1 is keeping the house afloat and taking care of the 3 of our basic needs. After that is enjoying kiddos, and then doing extra workout. So...

Balance.

Spend some time sitting and doing important mental work too - writing here helps to keep me feeling like being something besides just a mom. And finally wearing some clothes that fit help my mental state too.

But so does exercise and feeling fit. So I'll try to make a slightly better effort to do it. On the days that my lovely girl is letting me get enough sleep. Because there's a time for wine and cookie dough days too.

Doing some bridge work, because, COME ON GIRL

Upset 2 year old when I asked him to please let me go get his sister to sleep, so this is what he did. Sigh.

Got a brand new pair of pants but the style was so...off. So I made them into capris. I skipped workout this day to sew. No regrets.

My love girl

Jade getting a little downtime. No, she doesn't take pacifiers, but she does love to play with them

This is what making dinner looks like, so really, life is a workout

Life With 2

This is how my husband entertains the baby...

I did not anywhere expect that life with 2 kids under 3 would be easy. I remember early days of watching Legan and Warren and with totally different nap schedules, meal schedules and eating needs it was HARD.

NAPS

I did count on Legan being his awesome generally pretty easy going self. That was kinda fair, and he sorta kinda is. I knew naps wouldn't really line up, but I kinda looked forward to having only one kid at once to handle. Little did I know that after hours and hours and days of two kids being demanding all the time I would really really want totally alone time. Because it's really hard to fold laundry or type on a computer if EITHER one is awake. It's easier with Legan, generally. Much much easier. But not easy.

So cute in her romper, but it's cold, so this gets used as an undershirt while it fits

MEALS

Well feeding toddlers has always been fun. They want to help you make food, argue about anything you want to put on their plate. Inevitably you do it wrong, put it in the wrong section of the plate, or HEAVEN FORBID, let the different foods touch each other. And they take forever to eat. Or at least mine does, but at least he does eat, so that's awesome. Well, throw a baby who wants to be held or at least entertained while you're doing all this, and it's even harder. I can generally wear Jade while getting food ready, but not while eating (she gets mad that I'm sitting down and I hate eating and walking). So it's a delicate balance of doing something to keep her occupied while preparing food. Lol, preparing. I mean finding leftovers or cold stuff and warming it (or not) and throwing onto plates. Then I have to find SOMETHING else to entertain her while I'm trying to shovel food in, because she's only willing to put up with 1 toy/seat/position for maximum 10 minutes. So it's a baby juggling act. Try tummy time with an annoying toy and maybe Legan to push the buttons while I'm getting food out. And then the baby chair with a teether fruit while I'm eating...who knows.

POOPING

Yeah. Count on toddler company and listening to baby yell because the toddler won't entertain her and she's tired of the exersaucer. Pooping is a group activity. Yup.

BABY POOPING

Just too many poops per day. So many. Actually, that's not fair, it's usually only 1-2 per day, but it's just so so so messy. And inevitably one kiddo starts getting into trouble whenever the other's diaper change takes too long because of disaster poop. Hint: with Legan now nursing more and Jade only nursing, every poop is disaster poop.

SNACKS

Well, if I can wait for Legan's nap, I can usually get an OK snack in, but that's only because Jade is not old enough for food. She's so interested in real food that I'm sure once she gets her first taste I won't be able to snack alone/in peace until she's moved out of the house.

On that note though, I'm crossing my fingers that when she does start on solids, mealtimes will get easier because I can plop her in high chair and give her things to play with/munch without me. It MIGHT help. Or I could knock on wood, lol.

CRYING

OMG so much crying. Ok, I know babies cry. Legan cried a lot. For a long time. Jade cried more, but for a shorter time period. Having a non-reflux non-dairy issue baby was easier. She just had nasty gas for a while, related to my boobs going too fast for her. And I know toddlers tantrum. But toddlers who suddenly feel like they don't get enough love tantrum more. And both toddlers and babies feel the tension of the other one crying and they cry. Or the toddler just intentionally manages to do something dumb, like flip over his toy shopping cart onto his hand, because you're busy with baby and he's trying to get your attention. Either way, I hadn't really considered that they'd be making each other cry so much already. Sigh. Sometimes I tell one or the other that it's the other one's turn for mom/to cry right now, so they need to handle themselves for a little bit.

BOOBS

Nursing two is just hard. I expected it to be hard. I expected Legan to get jealous and want to nurse more and whenever he saw Jade nursing. I knew I would have to just set firm limits and do plenty of cuddling with him. I knew Jade was going to need me a lot for boobs the first couple of months. So no shock. I hadn't counted on Jade being LESS attached to them and therefore sometimes being mad when she wants comfort but doesn't want to be fed at all....so then I get stuck covering up boobs and walking with her. I hadn't realized that Legan was going to want to nurse just because he can, but not actually have the patience to do it, and so to come up with more and more animated and annoying games while nursing. So I had to get even more firm. Sigh. I hadn't counted on him having a bad latch or playing around with my nipple because he couldn't care less if milk comes out he just wants to be attached (they are so different!). I hadn't realized that boobs were my best baby calming device with Legan and Jade needed something else.

On that note, so many DIFFERENCES

So different! Little sister

Big brother, who was too cranky to let me take a photo of them together

I mean, yeah, penis vs vagina and preemie vs termie (full term). But also: Jade doesn't like to pee during diaper changes. She cares if she's wet (Legan still doesn't). She wants to eat every 3-4 hours. Period. If we're at 1.5-2 hours and I want to leave for a bit, I can't convince her to top off so I can escape. Nope, not hungry, won't eat. Legan insisted on sleeping with/on/touching someone almost exclusively. Jade wants to fall asleep on you, but once she's out she prefers to be left on her own, elsewhere, because she's going to need to move around and she'll be unhappy if you prevent that. Jade takes a long time and is sometimes very difficult to pass out. Legan was so so easy to get down. BUT, once she's down (assuming she isn't snotty from yet another cold....4 and counting) she's usually out for a decent chunk. Legan was a 20-30 minute napper and maybe 3-4 hours tops overnight, but usually only 2 hours overnight. Jade sometimes likes to sleep through the night, even at 4 months old.

They both were super bored, super young and so liked to be passed around and to go out and do things as much as possible. Sitting at home just isn't their favorite thing. Both think yawns are hilarious and love their dogs, and each other.

I wouldn't change them for the world. But, damn, they are sometimes hard.

Pretty girl getting SO BIG, she always needs something to hang onto

Working on sitting up!

Mommy snuggling with Fluff the Flamingo

Look, actually playing together

My puppy babies cuddling

Learning all about dominos

And then he learned how they fall