Finding Balance: Wellness for the Everyday Struggle: Life With 2

This is how my husband entertains the baby...

I did not anywhere expect that life with 2 kids under 3 would be easy. I remember early days of watching Legan and Warren and with totally different nap schedules, meal schedules and eating needs it was HARD.

NAPS

I did count on Legan being his awesome generally pretty easy going self. That was kinda fair, and he sorta kinda is. I knew naps wouldn't really line up, but I kinda looked forward to having only one kid at once to handle. Little did I know that after hours and hours and days of two kids being demanding all the time I would really really want totally alone time. Because it's really hard to fold laundry or type on a computer if EITHER one is awake. It's easier with Legan, generally. Much much easier. But not easy.

So cute in her romper, but it's cold, so this gets used as an undershirt while it fits

MEALS

Well feeding toddlers has always been fun. They want to help you make food, argue about anything you want to put on their plate. Inevitably you do it wrong, put it in the wrong section of the plate, or HEAVEN FORBID, let the different foods touch each other. And they take forever to eat. Or at least mine does, but at least he does eat, so that's awesome. Well, throw a baby who wants to be held or at least entertained while you're doing all this, and it's even harder. I can generally wear Jade while getting food ready, but not while eating (she gets mad that I'm sitting down and I hate eating and walking). So it's a delicate balance of doing something to keep her occupied while preparing food. Lol, preparing. I mean finding leftovers or cold stuff and warming it (or not) and throwing onto plates. Then I have to find SOMETHING else to entertain her while I'm trying to shovel food in, because she's only willing to put up with 1 toy/seat/position for maximum 10 minutes. So it's a baby juggling act. Try tummy time with an annoying toy and maybe Legan to push the buttons while I'm getting food out. And then the baby chair with a teether fruit while I'm eating...who knows.

POOPING

Yeah. Count on toddler company and listening to baby yell because the toddler won't entertain her and she's tired of the exersaucer. Pooping is a group activity. Yup.

BABY POOPING

Just too many poops per day. So many. Actually, that's not fair, it's usually only 1-2 per day, but it's just so so so messy. And inevitably one kiddo starts getting into trouble whenever the other's diaper change takes too long because of disaster poop. Hint: with Legan now nursing more and Jade only nursing, every poop is disaster poop.

SNACKS

Well, if I can wait for Legan's nap, I can usually get an OK snack in, but that's only because Jade is not old enough for food. She's so interested in real food that I'm sure once she gets her first taste I won't be able to snack alone/in peace until she's moved out of the house.

On that note though, I'm crossing my fingers that when she does start on solids, mealtimes will get easier because I can plop her in high chair and give her things to play with/munch without me. It MIGHT help. Or I could knock on wood, lol.

CRYING

OMG so much crying. Ok, I know babies cry. Legan cried a lot. For a long time. Jade cried more, but for a shorter time period. Having a non-reflux non-dairy issue baby was easier. She just had nasty gas for a while, related to my boobs going too fast for her. And I know toddlers tantrum. But toddlers who suddenly feel like they don't get enough love tantrum more. And both toddlers and babies feel the tension of the other one crying and they cry. Or the toddler just intentionally manages to do something dumb, like flip over his toy shopping cart onto his hand, because you're busy with baby and he's trying to get your attention. Either way, I hadn't really considered that they'd be making each other cry so much already. Sigh. Sometimes I tell one or the other that it's the other one's turn for mom/to cry right now, so they need to handle themselves for a little bit.

BOOBS

Nursing two is just hard. I expected it to be hard. I expected Legan to get jealous and want to nurse more and whenever he saw Jade nursing. I knew I would have to just set firm limits and do plenty of cuddling with him. I knew Jade was going to need me a lot for boobs the first couple of months. So no shock. I hadn't counted on Jade being LESS attached to them and therefore sometimes being mad when she wants comfort but doesn't want to be fed at all....so then I get stuck covering up boobs and walking with her. I hadn't realized that Legan was going to want to nurse just because he can, but not actually have the patience to do it, and so to come up with more and more animated and annoying games while nursing. So I had to get even more firm. Sigh. I hadn't counted on him having a bad latch or playing around with my nipple because he couldn't care less if milk comes out he just wants to be attached (they are so different!). I hadn't realized that boobs were my best baby calming device with Legan and Jade needed something else.

On that note, so many DIFFERENCES

So different! Little sister

Big brother, who was too cranky to let me take a photo of them together

I mean, yeah, penis vs vagina and preemie vs termie (full term). But also: Jade doesn't like to pee during diaper changes. She cares if she's wet (Legan still doesn't). She wants to eat every 3-4 hours. Period. If we're at 1.5-2 hours and I want to leave for a bit, I can't convince her to top off so I can escape. Nope, not hungry, won't eat. Legan insisted on sleeping with/on/touching someone almost exclusively. Jade wants to fall asleep on you, but once she's out she prefers to be left on her own, elsewhere, because she's going to need to move around and she'll be unhappy if you prevent that. Jade takes a long time and is sometimes very difficult to pass out. Legan was so so easy to get down. BUT, once she's down (assuming she isn't snotty from yet another cold....4 and counting) she's usually out for a decent chunk. Legan was a 20-30 minute napper and maybe 3-4 hours tops overnight, but usually only 2 hours overnight. Jade sometimes likes to sleep through the night, even at 4 months old.

They both were super bored, super young and so liked to be passed around and to go out and do things as much as possible. Sitting at home just isn't their favorite thing. Both think yawns are hilarious and love their dogs, and each other.

I wouldn't change them for the world. But, damn, they are sometimes hard.